I am stuck in this infinite loop. Get up with the babe before Travis wakes up...pee, (with babe on my lap 99% of the time) coffee, email, Facebook, Twitter, blogs... keep baby from peril...Travis gets up... keep him from messing with baby, keep baby from peril...nurse, breakfast, feed us all, change baby's diaper, nurse, email, Facebook, Twitter,blogs.... dress kids... keep Travis from messing with baby, keep baby from peril...shower (or not), snack,nurse, email, Facebook, Twitter, blogs... keep Travis from messing with baby, keep baby from peril...lunch, leave house, (or not), tv, games, snack, lunch....nurse, hope for nap!!!!, email, Facebook, Twitter, blogs.... finally unload dishwasher....blabla....
It's crazy... I get NO time to myself to do anything I want to do.... yeah, ok.... so I probably have an internet addiction...it's definitely escapism....my connection to the "outside world." But people... I cannot even PEE by myself!!!
I was Hoodwinked, Hornswaggled, Harangued. Kids are great... but they are also INSANE.... and they only seem to get more so with the passage of time. Your life? No longer your own. You look and suddenly crazy amounts of time have passed since you were able to do things you used to enjoy... like knit, see a movie, or be intimate with your own husband, or were even able to finish a thought.
All I know is that it absoutely HAS to get better.... please just lie to me... just tell me it does.
Cause seriously? Two kids is my maximum load... the most I can handle. I doubt my own sanity and competent-ness (wtf... is that even a WORD?!)
I wouldn't trade large parts of it for the world. The soft breathing,the sweet-smelling, the gurgles, coos, affectionate hugs, the open-mouthed baby kisses, the giggles, the belly-laughs...touseled hair, the ability to make the world right with a nursing session, or a hug and kiss - a cookie... the joyful sound of play, the interaction, recognition, the knowlege-aquiring .... the imagination, the word "Mama", hearing "I love you mommy", the singing - the wrong lyrics, and out of key......all these things and so many more.... they make the routine, the drugery, the day-to-day grind is so very, very worth it.
I just need to remind myself of this from time to time....
Showing posts with label bitch whine moan.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bitch whine moan.. Show all posts
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Letting it all out...
I know I haven't been blogging all that much... well... there's a reason for that. I fear I am rapidly approaching the "burn-out" point with my kids. (With both of them, but with Travis especially... it's gotten very difficult around here lately...) I don't really want to come on here and rant and rave about how frustrated I am all the time... or how I haven't been able to even manage a shower for days on end. I also don't want to sugar-coat and gloss over things.... which I already feel I do too much here... but, anyway... something has got to give. I feel just drained... and I get very little in the way of a break.... ok, I'll say it. No break. Not a 100% break. Not ever.
I am beginning to really resent myself, and how I interact with my son. I have had to resort to yelling, swatting (which I REALLY don't believe in!), time-outs in his room, while he's screaming on the other side with the door closed. I don't like this, not one bit. I am at a loss... frustrated... really...
I know this sounds whiny and self-indulgent. I know it was my choice to have kids and stay home with them... I understand all of this. It doesn't change how things are. Anyone who knows me knows I love my kids sooo much... I use humor and snarkiness to diffuse most frustrating things. But jeezus. These kiddos demand every last shred of patience, every last ounce of everything I have to give. I don't know how parents of multiples do it... I would seriously go nutso with more than two.
Ashley barely sleeps all day. Usually, it involves me trying for an hour, just so she will sleep 20 minutes... and that doesn't count the many, many, times Travis will do something purposefully to wake her up. She spends 90% of the time she does sleep nursing. So, it's not like I can pop her in the swing for naps, and get anything done - the last 9 months have been trying to say the least.
I am looking at pre-schools. Most are full, religiously affiliated, or otherwise prohibitively expensive. Jeff's income disqualifies us for any type of cost break... so we need to sit down, and figure out if we can possibly budget $400 a month for us to send Travis to pre-school 3 days a week.
Also, I have started the Sonoma Diet again... because my old way of eating, skipping meals, not caring for myself, it had to stop. I started a Sonoma Diet recipe blog a few years ago, and never kept it updated. http://sonomarecipes.blogspot.com/ I have resurrected it, and plan on keeping it updated for as long as I can. I have started back on my vitamins, and my goal is to be off of my blood pressure meds completely by January 1, 2010.
Anyway.... I am still alive and mostly well... I just need to focus on getting healthier, happier, and better at my job, which is really the most important thing, right? Some days I just need to remember to put my own oxygen mask on first... of that makes any sense at all....
I am beginning to really resent myself, and how I interact with my son. I have had to resort to yelling, swatting (which I REALLY don't believe in!), time-outs in his room, while he's screaming on the other side with the door closed. I don't like this, not one bit. I am at a loss... frustrated... really...
I know this sounds whiny and self-indulgent. I know it was my choice to have kids and stay home with them... I understand all of this. It doesn't change how things are. Anyone who knows me knows I love my kids sooo much... I use humor and snarkiness to diffuse most frustrating things. But jeezus. These kiddos demand every last shred of patience, every last ounce of everything I have to give. I don't know how parents of multiples do it... I would seriously go nutso with more than two.
Ashley barely sleeps all day. Usually, it involves me trying for an hour, just so she will sleep 20 minutes... and that doesn't count the many, many, times Travis will do something purposefully to wake her up. She spends 90% of the time she does sleep nursing. So, it's not like I can pop her in the swing for naps, and get anything done - the last 9 months have been trying to say the least.
I am looking at pre-schools. Most are full, religiously affiliated, or otherwise prohibitively expensive. Jeff's income disqualifies us for any type of cost break... so we need to sit down, and figure out if we can possibly budget $400 a month for us to send Travis to pre-school 3 days a week.
Also, I have started the Sonoma Diet again... because my old way of eating, skipping meals, not caring for myself, it had to stop. I started a Sonoma Diet recipe blog a few years ago, and never kept it updated. http://sonomarecipes.blogspot.com/ I have resurrected it, and plan on keeping it updated for as long as I can. I have started back on my vitamins, and my goal is to be off of my blood pressure meds completely by January 1, 2010.
Anyway.... I am still alive and mostly well... I just need to focus on getting healthier, happier, and better at my job, which is really the most important thing, right? Some days I just need to remember to put my own oxygen mask on first... of that makes any sense at all....
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Bah Humbug!
Forgive my absence... as if there is anyone left that reads anyway... save for family and a very few family friends.
To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement... So picture the word "overwhelmed" - and now imagine it as double-bolded-all-caps-locked-red-underlined in a freaked-out looking font - OVERWHELMED!!!!! There... that is me.
Where to start...
The vast majority of our list is as-yet not shopped for... our Christmas cards never made it to fruition... the butter spritz cookies I made yesterday... dry, and mis-shapen. (P.S. Eff you, Martha, oh...and you too Wilton - that replacement cookie press you sent me is first-grade CRAP!)
Our stockings are not yet hung by the chimney with care. And, while I am confessing... we still have not decorated our tree. I doubt we will, either - because it is all I can do to keep Ashley from chewing on the lead-laden boughs and lights, while they are plugged in.
My fantasy of having studio family Christmas pictures taken this year, dashed. The Picture People closed up shop here... and I even had coupons. Lame. The calendar is nearly, but not quite done. There is the also the issue of familial dramz, which is to be expected, I guess.
I had an afternoon of crafts planned for today... we even went to the craft store... and all we have to show for it is one lonely snowflake, and 1 of the 3 WonderPets in felt-ornament form. Linny... if you are at ALL interested. The baby screamed the whole time... I was beyond frustrated, and Travis kept wielding the scissors like a samurai.
And that doesn't even count the fact that I scraped all the caulking out of the Master bath shower Friday...(it was seriously, disgusting....)I had every intention of re-caulking it the same day. Of course, once it was totally scraped out, an hour and a half later, then I realized the caulking we bought (months ago) isn't suitable for use in the shower. Oh, and of course, we STILL have not yet bought the right kind... so, I have showered only twice in the last 6 days... in Travis' bathroom... which sucks much ass. Zero water pressure, and no place to put Ashley so she doesn't crawl around the toilet and do her damnedest to fall into the bathtub - wailing all the while.
Friday evening, I managed to throw my jeans, with my cell phone still in the pocket into the washer.... lovely, no? At least I was able to back up my old contacts... and we pay the insurance fee monthly. $50 later, I had my brand new replacement the very next day.
What else.... oh, every time the baby falls asleep in the afternoon while I am nursing her... like freaking clockwork... Travis has to take a crap, and needs me to get up, while still holding the baby with one hand... to wipe him, and 9 times out of 10, he's already managed to get shit all over the bathroom.
And Little Miss... still thinks she can let go of things while holding on... and falls to her peril... she can scale the stairs (I am waiting on a special-order gate for the bottom of the stairs)- so ALL day long, it's chase her away from the stairs, the tree, the fireplace doors, and every chance she gets she heads over to the entertainment center, messes with the volume, plays with my iPod... tries to hit the power button on the Xbox, Everytime I turn around, it's all I can do to keep her from chewing on the laptop cord... or else I'm removing one of Travis' hot wheels - or the "carpet candy" she finds under T's dining chair from her mouth.
And, finally... how about two days ago when Travis had the mother of all freakout meltdowns in the midst of Safeway... during which I checked out with only a quarter of what I needed... and of course, still will not go back in there with him by myself. Thank god I made lasagna Sunday, or we'd be starving. Oh, and thank goodness for the kindess of a stranger, aptly named "Holly" who helped me get the groceries and the flipped-out child(ren)safely into the van. She said she has 4 kids, so knows exactly how that is. After the last few weeks dealing with the kids (Travis especially, he's getting really out-of-control) I wouldn't be surprised to learn that my tubes spontaneously tied themselves. Just sayin'.
Sooo..yeah... I think that's about it... and while I know some people would KILL to have my problems... it's still no less frustrating, overwhelming, and crazy.
To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement... So picture the word "overwhelmed" - and now imagine it as double-bolded-all-caps-locked-red-underlined in a freaked-out looking font - OVERWHELMED!!!!! There... that is me.
Where to start...
The vast majority of our list is as-yet not shopped for... our Christmas cards never made it to fruition... the butter spritz cookies I made yesterday... dry, and mis-shapen. (P.S. Eff you, Martha, oh...and you too Wilton - that replacement cookie press you sent me is first-grade CRAP!)
Our stockings are not yet hung by the chimney with care. And, while I am confessing... we still have not decorated our tree. I doubt we will, either - because it is all I can do to keep Ashley from chewing on the lead-laden boughs and lights, while they are plugged in.
My fantasy of having studio family Christmas pictures taken this year, dashed. The Picture People closed up shop here... and I even had coupons. Lame. The calendar is nearly, but not quite done. There is the also the issue of familial dramz, which is to be expected, I guess.
I had an afternoon of crafts planned for today... we even went to the craft store... and all we have to show for it is one lonely snowflake, and 1 of the 3 WonderPets in felt-ornament form. Linny... if you are at ALL interested. The baby screamed the whole time... I was beyond frustrated, and Travis kept wielding the scissors like a samurai.
And that doesn't even count the fact that I scraped all the caulking out of the Master bath shower Friday...(it was seriously, disgusting....)I had every intention of re-caulking it the same day. Of course, once it was totally scraped out, an hour and a half later, then I realized the caulking we bought (months ago) isn't suitable for use in the shower. Oh, and of course, we STILL have not yet bought the right kind... so, I have showered only twice in the last 6 days... in Travis' bathroom... which sucks much ass. Zero water pressure, and no place to put Ashley so she doesn't crawl around the toilet and do her damnedest to fall into the bathtub - wailing all the while.
Friday evening, I managed to throw my jeans, with my cell phone still in the pocket into the washer.... lovely, no? At least I was able to back up my old contacts... and we pay the insurance fee monthly. $50 later, I had my brand new replacement the very next day.
What else.... oh, every time the baby falls asleep in the afternoon while I am nursing her... like freaking clockwork... Travis has to take a crap, and needs me to get up, while still holding the baby with one hand... to wipe him, and 9 times out of 10, he's already managed to get shit all over the bathroom.
And Little Miss... still thinks she can let go of things while holding on... and falls to her peril... she can scale the stairs (I am waiting on a special-order gate for the bottom of the stairs)- so ALL day long, it's chase her away from the stairs, the tree, the fireplace doors, and every chance she gets she heads over to the entertainment center, messes with the volume, plays with my iPod... tries to hit the power button on the Xbox, Everytime I turn around, it's all I can do to keep her from chewing on the laptop cord... or else I'm removing one of Travis' hot wheels - or the "carpet candy" she finds under T's dining chair from her mouth.
And, finally... how about two days ago when Travis had the mother of all freakout meltdowns in the midst of Safeway... during which I checked out with only a quarter of what I needed... and of course, still will not go back in there with him by myself. Thank god I made lasagna Sunday, or we'd be starving. Oh, and thank goodness for the kindess of a stranger, aptly named "Holly" who helped me get the groceries and the flipped-out child(ren)safely into the van. She said she has 4 kids, so knows exactly how that is. After the last few weeks dealing with the kids (Travis especially, he's getting really out-of-control) I wouldn't be surprised to learn that my tubes spontaneously tied themselves. Just sayin'.
Sooo..yeah... I think that's about it... and while I know some people would KILL to have my problems... it's still no less frustrating, overwhelming, and crazy.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Cold, wet, whiny...
Apparently, staying well is too much to ask. Case in point... sore throat, sinus pressure, stuffy,coughing... general malaise.. Ugh.
Lovely, no?
Yeah... and SOOO needed, cause, really? We haven't been sick in DAYS!
But, otherwise... I guess we're good. We took the Neon up to the Bay Area over the weekend, so that's finally done.
This weekend... we REALLY plan on putting Travis' bed back into his room, as well as making a storage run.
I want to get the infant carseat out of storage, and wash the cover, install it into the van... and put the extra base into Jeff's car. That way, we'll be prepared for whenever this baby comes, and Travis will have a visual reminder that the baby will be here SOON - as well as the fact that we're switching his carseat to the opposite side of the van.
In all reality, we still have plenty of time... I'm only 33 1/2 weeks - but still, it will make it easier for later.
Oh, it's raining... AGAIN... yay! We literally haven't left the house in 2 days... so I really want to go somewhere today. Easier said than done... I don't want to go exposing anyone to these cold germs... but I think a Starbucks/Target run is definitely in order. I haven't had any coffee since Monday... just tea. So, yeah, that would be nice... except for the inevitable heartburn.
Plus, I probably should make a Trader Joes run, to stock up on milk, yogurt, and SOMETHING for tonight's dinner. Wish me luck...
Lovely, no?
Yeah... and SOOO needed, cause, really? We haven't been sick in DAYS!
But, otherwise... I guess we're good. We took the Neon up to the Bay Area over the weekend, so that's finally done.
This weekend... we REALLY plan on putting Travis' bed back into his room, as well as making a storage run.
I want to get the infant carseat out of storage, and wash the cover, install it into the van... and put the extra base into Jeff's car. That way, we'll be prepared for whenever this baby comes, and Travis will have a visual reminder that the baby will be here SOON - as well as the fact that we're switching his carseat to the opposite side of the van.
In all reality, we still have plenty of time... I'm only 33 1/2 weeks - but still, it will make it easier for later.
Oh, it's raining... AGAIN... yay! We literally haven't left the house in 2 days... so I really want to go somewhere today. Easier said than done... I don't want to go exposing anyone to these cold germs... but I think a Starbucks/Target run is definitely in order. I haven't had any coffee since Monday... just tea. So, yeah, that would be nice... except for the inevitable heartburn.
Plus, I probably should make a Trader Joes run, to stock up on milk, yogurt, and SOMETHING for tonight's dinner. Wish me luck...
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Ok, enough with the bodily fluids, already!
Well, not out of the woods yet.
Last night I went to knit... and then we went on a Papa John's Pizza run. It was yummy... and Travis was totally digging it.
All was calm, until right before bed.
After an entire day of nothing coming up, Travis had a pizza barf, right before midnight. All over our (unwashable) runner carpet. Wow. Superfun!! :(
And this morning, plaintive pleas for water... and dry heaves. He's been resting/napping on and off for the last couple of hours. Poor thing still has nothing in his stomach. :(
It's weird... he seemed to be getting better... and yet, at night, and this morning, the hurleys come back with a vengeance.
And, this morning, sheets had to be changed again, because somehow he peed all over the bed... while fully clothed, and in a diaper. When I changed his diaper? It was dry. WTF? I'm thinking, he just somehow peed out of the top of it? Honestly, I have no idea.
I know this... I need a shower, I need to do laundry... I need to clean my bathroom, and unload/reload the dishwasher. My cervix HURTS! My pelvis is KILLING ME! I want Starbucks! I'm tired of having heartburn! We are out of clean towels, despite washing EVERY SINGLE ONE on Sunday. And, I have had ENOUGH contact with bodily fluids for a nice long while!
Last night I went to knit... and then we went on a Papa John's Pizza run. It was yummy... and Travis was totally digging it.
All was calm, until right before bed.
After an entire day of nothing coming up, Travis had a pizza barf, right before midnight. All over our (unwashable) runner carpet. Wow. Superfun!! :(
And this morning, plaintive pleas for water... and dry heaves. He's been resting/napping on and off for the last couple of hours. Poor thing still has nothing in his stomach. :(
It's weird... he seemed to be getting better... and yet, at night, and this morning, the hurleys come back with a vengeance.
And, this morning, sheets had to be changed again, because somehow he peed all over the bed... while fully clothed, and in a diaper. When I changed his diaper? It was dry. WTF? I'm thinking, he just somehow peed out of the top of it? Honestly, I have no idea.
I know this... I need a shower, I need to do laundry... I need to clean my bathroom, and unload/reload the dishwasher. My cervix HURTS! My pelvis is KILLING ME! I want Starbucks! I'm tired of having heartburn! We are out of clean towels, despite washing EVERY SINGLE ONE on Sunday. And, I have had ENOUGH contact with bodily fluids for a nice long while!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Terrible 3s
I figured something out.... I am officially screwed. Yup, you heard me. I have no control over this little boy anymore. He's officially INSANE!
It really started up a few weeks ago.... he had a language explosion of sorts. As in, he started stringing together short sentences... and I got kind of excited. You know.... cause now he could use his new-found abilities to communicate better with us. And life, as we know it would get easier. Right? Oh wrong. Wrong. WRONG!
His first foray into the multi-sentences went something like this: "Hey! Give that back! That's not Yours! That's Travis'!" Oh, it was cute the first oh, hundred times. Now? I want him to unlearn it, post-haste.
Oh, that's not the worst of it... he's learned from, godknowswhere.... this faux high-pitched dog whistle. So, it's all "Wheeewwheew!" "HEY! Give that back!" Always with that fake-ass stupid, obnoxious, disrespectful effing "whistle" - and he does it like 50,000 times a day. I want to scream. I really, really do. He uses this tactic with us, with kids at the park, kids at the Children's Museum in town, and it freaking SUCKS! I hate, hate, haaate it. He uses it whenever we tell him something he doesn't want to hear, or when we try and discipline him, and lately that is often.
Plus, it's been raining, and look at the forecast for next week!
Joy, huh?!
In this town - there's not a whole lot to do inside-wise. We have no indoor malls, and the kid's museum failed miserably the other day, due to the above obnoxious behavior. I had to drag him LITERALLY kicking and screaming from the museum because he was pulling that crap with the other kids, and hoarding the toys, and not listening.
Also, we haven't re-newed our Aquarium membership... because
1. It's Expensive.
2. The Kid's area is being remodeled, and won't be opened until April. This is one of the sole small closed- off areas in there for toddlers and pre-schoolers.
3. I CANNOT chase him all over the entirety of the Aquarium right now... I am nearly 7 1/2 months pregnant, and achy, sore, and otherwise NOT going to do it.
I am tired. Tired of the yelling, the screaming, the tantrums. I'm tired of being unhappy. Tired.... Tired of being achy, tired of being cooped up inside. Just stick a damn fork in me, already.
Don't get me wrong. I love my son. I love him with all my heart. I just really don't LIKE him right now.
It really started up a few weeks ago.... he had a language explosion of sorts. As in, he started stringing together short sentences... and I got kind of excited. You know.... cause now he could use his new-found abilities to communicate better with us. And life, as we know it would get easier. Right? Oh wrong. Wrong. WRONG!
His first foray into the multi-sentences went something like this: "Hey! Give that back! That's not Yours! That's Travis'!" Oh, it was cute the first oh, hundred times. Now? I want him to unlearn it, post-haste.
Oh, that's not the worst of it... he's learned from, godknowswhere.... this faux high-pitched dog whistle. So, it's all "Wheeewwheew!" "HEY! Give that back!" Always with that fake-ass stupid, obnoxious, disrespectful effing "whistle" - and he does it like 50,000 times a day. I want to scream. I really, really do. He uses this tactic with us, with kids at the park, kids at the Children's Museum in town, and it freaking SUCKS! I hate, hate, haaate it. He uses it whenever we tell him something he doesn't want to hear, or when we try and discipline him, and lately that is often.
Plus, it's been raining, and look at the forecast for next week!
Joy, huh?!
In this town - there's not a whole lot to do inside-wise. We have no indoor malls, and the kid's museum failed miserably the other day, due to the above obnoxious behavior. I had to drag him LITERALLY kicking and screaming from the museum because he was pulling that crap with the other kids, and hoarding the toys, and not listening.
Also, we haven't re-newed our Aquarium membership... because
1. It's Expensive.
2. The Kid's area is being remodeled, and won't be opened until April. This is one of the sole small closed- off areas in there for toddlers and pre-schoolers.
3. I CANNOT chase him all over the entirety of the Aquarium right now... I am nearly 7 1/2 months pregnant, and achy, sore, and otherwise NOT going to do it.
I am tired. Tired of the yelling, the screaming, the tantrums. I'm tired of being unhappy. Tired.... Tired of being achy, tired of being cooped up inside. Just stick a damn fork in me, already.
Don't get me wrong. I love my son. I love him with all my heart. I just really don't LIKE him right now.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Lalalala
If the sun doesn't come out today, I will scream!
I can't deal with this crappy overcast in the midst of August bullcrap!
So, my 30th is Saturday... and I have no idea what we're going to do. Like - Jeff is no good at planning stuff. And, we're doing the family celebration thing next weekend.
My dad said he's giving me $ for yarn. LOL! He always gives me $ for my birthday.... but yeah. Yarn is good.
Although I have serious UFO (unfinished objects) syndrome going on. Bleh. I am such an ADD knitter.
Let's see? Next week I get to have my annual exam to make sure all my parts are in working order. LOL. I hate the cooter exams. Bleh.
Besides that... nothing of that much interest. We're going to a playdate in a 1/2 hour.... if I can get Travis to want to leave the house. He's still in his pajamas.
At least I showered and am dressed. And eating breakfast. Non-fat Greek Yogurt with honey and Kashi. Woohoo!
I think Travis just crapped his pants. Lovely.
I can't deal with this crappy overcast in the midst of August bullcrap!
So, my 30th is Saturday... and I have no idea what we're going to do. Like - Jeff is no good at planning stuff. And, we're doing the family celebration thing next weekend.
My dad said he's giving me $ for yarn. LOL! He always gives me $ for my birthday.... but yeah. Yarn is good.
Although I have serious UFO (unfinished objects) syndrome going on. Bleh. I am such an ADD knitter.
Let's see? Next week I get to have my annual exam to make sure all my parts are in working order. LOL. I hate the cooter exams. Bleh.
Besides that... nothing of that much interest. We're going to a playdate in a 1/2 hour.... if I can get Travis to want to leave the house. He's still in his pajamas.
At least I showered and am dressed. And eating breakfast. Non-fat Greek Yogurt with honey and Kashi. Woohoo!
I think Travis just crapped his pants. Lovely.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Who are you, and what have you done with my child?!
We're fine! The barfing was limited to twice on Sunday... and didn't make a reappearance. Flukey, weird? Yes. Thanks for the well-wishes. :)
But, seriously? The was he's been behaving for the last few days... it makes me want to RUN AWAY FROM HOME!!! Or, at least (kinda) wish he was a little sick so he'd CALM THE EFF DOWN! To call him demanding... well that would be like calling Napoleon short. Really. I can't so much as LOOK toward the keyboard. And heaven forbid, I actually try to type anything. He's right here... pulling at my hands, whining, pushing, scratching.
I put him in his room twice yesterday and closed the door. The first time for 1 minute, and the second for 3, except he kept opening the door and coming out, so maybe that last one was only 2 minutes, tops. I had to. He was screaming, clawing at me... throwing a tantrum of EPIC PROPORTIONS. And if I didn't put him there... well... I was going to go to a VERY BAD PLACE. Like Vegas.
He FREAKED OUT the whole time I made dinner last night. No show, or toy or project would hold his attention. He just stuck his legs through the baby gate blocking off the living room from the kitchen and made this ambulance-sounding screaming the ENTIRE TIME.
And we FINALLY got to watch most of 24 last night... so we went to bed at 12:30. Travis had been asleep on the couch for awhile. We changed him, went to bed, as usual. Then we went to sleep. I was awakened no less that 5 times between 12:30 and 2:30. He was whining, kicking me... demanding to nurse. Then I would nurse him. He'd latch on... nurse for a few minutes. Pick at all my moles. *shudder* And he'd unlatch, and roll away. I'd get resettled. Only to have this whole cycle start over not 15 minutes later. So... yeah. between 2:30 and 5:00am.... I couldn't get back to sleep. I tried the nature sounds, meditation Podcasts on my iPod. I tried breathing, relaxing. Nothing worked.
So, yes. I was a very tired mommy today. But, I took a nap with Travis this afternoon. Hopefully he's good tonight... hubby and I want to go out to dinner. I am playing out the scary scenario in my head. Relaxing? HA! I am having a cocktail, diet or no diet.
I don't know what to do. His behavior... well, it's 2 year old stuff. I know that. But he doesn't pull this crap with Jeff. Just me. The screaming, freaking out tantrums.... they're a multiple times a day occurrence.
SO, I want to figure out how to cope with his craziness... and I really want him out of our bed soon. And, I want my boob back. Bitch. Whine. Moan.
Thoughts?
But, seriously? The was he's been behaving for the last few days... it makes me want to RUN AWAY FROM HOME!!! Or, at least (kinda) wish he was a little sick so he'd CALM THE EFF DOWN! To call him demanding... well that would be like calling Napoleon short. Really. I can't so much as LOOK toward the keyboard. And heaven forbid, I actually try to type anything. He's right here... pulling at my hands, whining, pushing, scratching.
I put him in his room twice yesterday and closed the door. The first time for 1 minute, and the second for 3, except he kept opening the door and coming out, so maybe that last one was only 2 minutes, tops. I had to. He was screaming, clawing at me... throwing a tantrum of EPIC PROPORTIONS. And if I didn't put him there... well... I was going to go to a VERY BAD PLACE. Like Vegas.
He FREAKED OUT the whole time I made dinner last night. No show, or toy or project would hold his attention. He just stuck his legs through the baby gate blocking off the living room from the kitchen and made this ambulance-sounding screaming the ENTIRE TIME.
And we FINALLY got to watch most of 24 last night... so we went to bed at 12:30. Travis had been asleep on the couch for awhile. We changed him, went to bed, as usual. Then we went to sleep. I was awakened no less that 5 times between 12:30 and 2:30. He was whining, kicking me... demanding to nurse. Then I would nurse him. He'd latch on... nurse for a few minutes. Pick at all my moles. *shudder* And he'd unlatch, and roll away. I'd get resettled. Only to have this whole cycle start over not 15 minutes later. So... yeah. between 2:30 and 5:00am.... I couldn't get back to sleep. I tried the nature sounds, meditation Podcasts on my iPod. I tried breathing, relaxing. Nothing worked.
So, yes. I was a very tired mommy today. But, I took a nap with Travis this afternoon. Hopefully he's good tonight... hubby and I want to go out to dinner. I am playing out the scary scenario in my head. Relaxing? HA! I am having a cocktail, diet or no diet.
I don't know what to do. His behavior... well, it's 2 year old stuff. I know that. But he doesn't pull this crap with Jeff. Just me. The screaming, freaking out tantrums.... they're a multiple times a day occurrence.
SO, I want to figure out how to cope with his craziness... and I really want him out of our bed soon. And, I want my boob back. Bitch. Whine. Moan.
Thoughts?
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