Showing posts with label bitchwhinecomplain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bitchwhinecomplain. Show all posts

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Housewife? Ha!

Well, obviously I am slacking at this whole blogging thing... life is too busy yet reasonably mundane. Nothing terribly exciting, I suppose. Day-to-day tasks... shuttling Travis the 30-some miles (one-way)to daycamp 3 days a week leaving by 9:15 to make it by 10:00... taking A to the mommy-and-me baby classes...grocery shopping, coffee, etc. Home by 3 or 4 those days. Sometimes they nap on the way home.

Weekends are family time, trips to the amusement parks, etc. Spending way too much money eating out - you know - normal stuff.

Ashley is running full-bore into terrible twos mode... and the crazy screaming thing she started doing seriously drives me... well... crazy!

She also climbs things. The dining room table, for instance, on top of the computer desk. This morning I found her sitting in the planter outside pulling up my herbs.

Lately, play dough for 5-10 minutes 4ish times a day safely strapped in her high chair (kinda) is the only way I can get ANY little tasks done... lunch made, dishwasher unloaded, etc.

And, so...the to-do-list never gets any smaller.

Laundry never gets fully done. Washed, yes, most times. Sorted, folded? Sigh... I need a better system.... ANY system. Chores? Mimimally surface-scratched done. I pick and choose battles. Triage the worst things, ignore the rest as long as possible. The bathrooms get cleaned often... we always seem to have dishes in the sink and a full load running in the dishwasher. The van is always cluttered, and needs a both wash, and a servicing, but that's a story for another paycheck.

I am a FlyLady drop-out many times over.

But I made a kick-ass coffee cake for breakfast this morning. Laundry is going...And I will shower today... so that it automatically a win for today, right?
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Paradigm shift

It's been blog-neglect 'round these parts lately...

I can assure you stuff and things have been happening...

Board books are being read... ad infinitum...

Pictures are being taken. We just got a brand new point and shoot Canon for those situations where lugging out the Rebel just seems like a bit too much.

We have secured season passes to the amusements parks... so we spent last Saturday at Great America and this one at Gilroy Gardens.

I am really working on the whole patience thing. Really. The stress I have in my head at any given time would make your head spin. Well, it does me... it also can cause heart palpitations and panic attacks. Like yesterday when I flipped out over a (minor - really it was) flat tire. Ugh. It is a process, right?

Baby Girl continues to amaze me daily with her sweetness, love, intelligence, persistence and insanity. She learned how to climb up on the couches and recliner... and now tries to stand UP on them and rock or run across them. So, she also now spends a large part of her day trying to give me a heart attack (see above).

She also doles out hugs and kisses like candy. She picks up objects that are almost her own size (18 pounds at 14 months.... she's a wee thing) and walks around with them. She has figured out how to operate our fancy motion-sensor trash can... and chucks toys an bits of paper in there every chance she gets.

She has NO fear. I mean it. NONE. She will run full-speed into the ocean or toward the down escalator without a second thought. She stands up in shopping carts or high chairs... even while buckled in. Cause since she can still wear 3-6 month clothes, no straps can contain her tightly enough to keep her from wiggling. We have a Floppy Seat from T's babyhood... and the strap is even tied to give her less slack. Nope, doesn't work. The Eddie Bauer high chair at home is no match for Danger Baby. We've become very adept at eating our meals one-handed, while keeping a firm grip around one of her ankles lest she launch herself out of the highchair and onto the floor.

Travis is... well... he is 4 1/2! Like every bit 4 1/2!!!!! He frustrates, amazes, and entertains us daily.

He is a bundle of energy... a cosmic force to be reckoned with. He is impulsive, compulsive, and bright.

He can navigate a computer with ease... his mouse clicking abilities amaze and astound. He can argue like a defense attorney... and he does... Every. Single. Chance. He. Gets. He believes in the power of persuasion... meaning if he repeats his wants over and over and over.... they will come to fruition. He is highly irrational, illogical, and overall.... just perfect.

We have him signed up beginning next week for day camp.... and it will be 3 hours a day/3 days a week... I am hoping against hope that he handles it well... and doesn't get himself kicked out.

I am happy to report that our inter district transfer was approved by our home district, and the school we wanted accepted our transfer. He actually gets screened today to see whether he will do better in Kinder or the 2 year Kinder-Plus program. He's a younger kid... will turn 5 in November... and has not had the benefit of social interactions of pre-school. His fine motor skills are a bit behind (from what I understand at least)not all that interested in coloring, drawing, not able to cut with scissors, glue or paint sends him into convulsions of "gooey hands!" "it's sticky!" I need to wash them riiiight now!!"

Ugh... don't even get me started on the monumental task of getting him to wipe his own butt! If he gets anything on his hands, he flips out. He abandons the task of wiping mid-stream. He HAS to stop and wash his hands... And he doesn't dry them all that well, and then he still needs to finish wiping - with damp hands and poopy butt and soggy toilet paper.... I think my head just exploded.


Yeah... well... we are really trying to impress upon him that he just needs to buck up and finish the job, poopy hands or no, and wash his hands at the VERY end. (heh, get it... END!!)

Anyyyyway.

I am renewing my efforts to get healthy, both mentally and physically... to be the best mom I can be each given day. And to try and quiet the voice in my head that says I am screwing it up, or need to be perfect. Cause I am not. My house is messy, laundry is unfolded. I lose my patience to easily, don't exercise... need to remember that my kids are KIDS and not mini-adults. I need to relax my expectations for myself and just enjoy this time as much as possible. I need to remind myself I will be a great mom, a good-enough cook, and a terrible housekeeper some days... and on those days where I am a good-enough mom, and a great house keeper, we will most likely get Costco pizza for dinner.

I know that some days the priorities will shift. But for now... the world will not spin off its axis if there is unfolded laundry in the living room, clutter in the van, or non-organic bananas in the fruit bowl. (well, maybe a just little bit on the bananas...) Compromise, balance... calmness. I know it's possible... people do it all the time. And without medication. It's about time I join the ranks.
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Friday, January 09, 2009

Letting it all out...

I know I haven't been blogging all that much... well... there's a reason for that. I fear I am rapidly approaching the "burn-out" point with my kids. (With both of them, but with Travis especially... it's gotten very difficult around here lately...) I don't really want to come on here and rant and rave about how frustrated I am all the time... or how I haven't been able to even manage a shower for days on end. I also don't want to sugar-coat and gloss over things.... which I already feel I do too much here... but, anyway... something has got to give. I feel just drained... and I get very little in the way of a break.... ok, I'll say it. No break. Not a 100% break. Not ever.

I am beginning to really resent myself, and how I interact with my son. I have had to resort to yelling, swatting (which I REALLY don't believe in!), time-outs in his room, while he's screaming on the other side with the door closed. I don't like this, not one bit. I am at a loss... frustrated... really...

I know this sounds whiny and self-indulgent. I know it was my choice to have kids and stay home with them... I understand all of this. It doesn't change how things are. Anyone who knows me knows I love my kids sooo much... I use humor and snarkiness to diffuse most frustrating things. But jeezus. These kiddos demand every last shred of patience, every last ounce of everything I have to give. I don't know how parents of multiples do it... I would seriously go nutso with more than two.

Ashley barely sleeps all day. Usually, it involves me trying for an hour, just so she will sleep 20 minutes... and that doesn't count the many, many, times Travis will do something purposefully to wake her up. She spends 90% of the time she does sleep nursing. So, it's not like I can pop her in the swing for naps, and get anything done - the last 9 months have been trying to say the least.

I am looking at pre-schools. Most are full, religiously affiliated, or otherwise prohibitively expensive. Jeff's income disqualifies us for any type of cost break... so we need to sit down, and figure out if we can possibly budget $400 a month for us to send Travis to pre-school 3 days a week.

Also, I have started the Sonoma Diet again... because my old way of eating, skipping meals, not caring for myself, it had to stop. I started a Sonoma Diet recipe blog a few years ago, and never kept it updated. http://sonomarecipes.blogspot.com/ I have resurrected it, and plan on keeping it updated for as long as I can. I have started back on my vitamins, and my goal is to be off of my blood pressure meds completely by January 1, 2010.

Anyway.... I am still alive and mostly well... I just need to focus on getting healthier, happier, and better at my job, which is really the most important thing, right? Some days I just need to remember to put my own oxygen mask on first... of that makes any sense at all....
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bah Humbug!

Forgive my absence... as if there is anyone left that reads anyway... save for family and a very few family friends.

To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement... So picture the word "overwhelmed" - and now imagine it as double-bolded-all-caps-locked-red-underlined in a freaked-out looking font - OVERWHELMED!!!!! There... that is me.

Where to start...

The vast majority of our list is as-yet not shopped for... our Christmas cards never made it to fruition... the butter spritz cookies I made yesterday... dry, and mis-shapen. (P.S. Eff you, Martha, oh...and you too Wilton - that replacement cookie press you sent me is first-grade CRAP!)

Our stockings are not yet hung by the chimney with care. And, while I am confessing... we still have not decorated our tree. I doubt we will, either - because it is all I can do to keep Ashley from chewing on the lead-laden boughs and lights, while they are plugged in.

My fantasy of having studio family Christmas pictures taken this year, dashed. The Picture People closed up shop here... and I even had coupons. Lame. The calendar is nearly, but not quite done. There is the also the issue of familial dramz, which is to be expected, I guess.

I had an afternoon of crafts planned for today... we even went to the craft store... and all we have to show for it is one lonely snowflake, and 1 of the 3 WonderPets in felt-ornament form. Linny... if you are at ALL interested. The baby screamed the whole time... I was beyond frustrated, and Travis kept wielding the scissors like a samurai.

And that doesn't even count the fact that I scraped all the caulking out of the Master bath shower Friday...(it was seriously, disgusting....)I had every intention of re-caulking it the same day. Of course, once it was totally scraped out, an hour and a half later, then I realized the caulking we bought (months ago) isn't suitable for use in the shower. Oh, and of course, we STILL have not yet bought the right kind... so, I have showered only twice in the last 6 days... in Travis' bathroom... which sucks much ass. Zero water pressure, and no place to put Ashley so she doesn't crawl around the toilet and do her damnedest to fall into the bathtub - wailing all the while.

Friday evening, I managed to throw my jeans, with my cell phone still in the pocket into the washer.... lovely, no? At least I was able to back up my old contacts... and we pay the insurance fee monthly. $50 later, I had my brand new replacement the very next day.
What else.... oh, every time the baby falls asleep in the afternoon while I am nursing her... like freaking clockwork... Travis has to take a crap, and needs me to get up, while still holding the baby with one hand... to wipe him, and 9 times out of 10, he's already managed to get shit all over the bathroom.

And Little Miss... still thinks she can let go of things while holding on... and falls to her peril... she can scale the stairs (I am waiting on a special-order gate for the bottom of the stairs)- so ALL day long, it's chase her away from the stairs, the tree, the fireplace doors, and every chance she gets she heads over to the entertainment center, messes with the volume, plays with my iPod... tries to hit the power button on the Xbox, Everytime I turn around, it's all I can do to keep her from chewing on the laptop cord... or else I'm removing one of Travis' hot wheels - or the "carpet candy" she finds under T's dining chair from her mouth.

And, finally... how about two days ago when Travis had the mother of all freakout meltdowns in the midst of Safeway... during which I checked out with only a quarter of what I needed... and of course, still will not go back in there with him by myself. Thank god I made lasagna Sunday, or we'd be starving. Oh, and thank goodness for the kindess of a stranger, aptly named "Holly" who helped me get the groceries and the flipped-out child(ren)safely into the van. She said she has 4 kids, so knows exactly how that is. After the last few weeks dealing with the kids (Travis especially, he's getting really out-of-control) I wouldn't be surprised to learn that my tubes spontaneously tied themselves. Just sayin'.

Sooo..yeah... I think that's about it... and while I know some people would KILL to have my problems... it's still no less frustrating, overwhelming, and crazy.
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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Braxton-Hicks Hell

Braxton Hicks contractions suck major ass. I have had them A LOT this weekend... I swear, I can't possibly drink any more water. UGH. So, yeah. Combined with the backache, cervical twinges,and other unpleasantness... I think this baby is more likely to come closer to the end of March than April 7th... but that may just be wishful thinking....

Here's to the beginning of the end.... 43 days to go... not that I'm counting, or anything....
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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Lalalala

If the sun doesn't come out today, I will scream!

I can't deal with this crappy overcast in the midst of August bullcrap!

So, my 30th is Saturday... and I have no idea what we're going to do. Like - Jeff is no good at planning stuff. And, we're doing the family celebration thing next weekend.

My dad said he's giving me $ for yarn. LOL! He always gives me $ for my birthday.... but yeah. Yarn is good.

Although I have serious UFO (unfinished objects) syndrome going on. Bleh. I am such an ADD knitter.

Let's see? Next week I get to have my annual exam to make sure all my parts are in working order. LOL. I hate the cooter exams. Bleh.
Besides that... nothing of that much interest. We're going to a playdate in a 1/2 hour.... if I can get Travis to want to leave the house. He's still in his pajamas.

At least I showered and am dressed. And eating breakfast. Non-fat Greek Yogurt with honey and Kashi. Woohoo!

I think Travis just crapped his pants. Lovely.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Counting down!

I am just dying over here... this is DAY 3 of the Headache from Hell! Nothing has worked. Not caffeine, Advil, gallons of water, sleep. Every night I have gone to sleep with it, and I can tell it's STILL HERE every morning before I even open my eyes.

So, later on this morning - I'm going to the Chiro to get my neck adjusted. Cause damn. If that doesn't do it.... well.... I am going to remain a Very Unhappy Mommy.

Okay... making my compulsive lists... things to get done, things to pack, things to buy before our trip. We are driving up to the ILs on Friday night.... so I need to finish getting the packing list together. And then START PACKING tomorrow!


I have a long and ambitious list.... but right now I will be happy with
1. Getting rid of this effing headache!
2. Cleaning my by-now repulsive bathroom.... it's been many weeks, and it shows. Ugh.
Emptying the dishwasher, reloading, and mopping the kitchen.
3. Taking my car in for a wash, vacuum, and Armor-all, cause... again.... ugh.

Getting anything else done.... well, that would just be a bonus.

And, yes! My period has made its appearance! So, hopefully, it will be wrapping up before we head out to PV. Yay!
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