Paradigm shift

It's been blog-neglect 'round these parts lately...

I can assure you stuff and things have been happening...

Board books are being read... ad infinitum...

Pictures are being taken. We just got a brand new point and shoot Canon for those situations where lugging out the Rebel just seems like a bit too much.

We have secured season passes to the amusements parks... so we spent last Saturday at Great America and this one at Gilroy Gardens.

I am really working on the whole patience thing. Really. The stress I have in my head at any given time would make your head spin. Well, it does me... it also can cause heart palpitations and panic attacks. Like yesterday when I flipped out over a (minor - really it was) flat tire. Ugh. It is a process, right?

Baby Girl continues to amaze me daily with her sweetness, love, intelligence, persistence and insanity. She learned how to climb up on the couches and recliner... and now tries to stand UP on them and rock or run across them. So, she also now spends a large part of her day trying to give me a heart attack (see above).

She also doles out hugs and kisses like candy. She picks up objects that are almost her own size (18 pounds at 14 months.... she's a wee thing) and walks around with them. She has figured out how to operate our fancy motion-sensor trash can... and chucks toys an bits of paper in there every chance she gets.

She has NO fear. I mean it. NONE. She will run full-speed into the ocean or toward the down escalator without a second thought. She stands up in shopping carts or high chairs... even while buckled in. Cause since she can still wear 3-6 month clothes, no straps can contain her tightly enough to keep her from wiggling. We have a Floppy Seat from T's babyhood... and the strap is even tied to give her less slack. Nope, doesn't work. The Eddie Bauer high chair at home is no match for Danger Baby. We've become very adept at eating our meals one-handed, while keeping a firm grip around one of her ankles lest she launch herself out of the highchair and onto the floor.

Travis is... well... he is 4 1/2! Like every bit 4 1/2!!!!! He frustrates, amazes, and entertains us daily.

He is a bundle of energy... a cosmic force to be reckoned with. He is impulsive, compulsive, and bright.

He can navigate a computer with ease... his mouse clicking abilities amaze and astound. He can argue like a defense attorney... and he does... Every. Single. Chance. He. Gets. He believes in the power of persuasion... meaning if he repeats his wants over and over and over.... they will come to fruition. He is highly irrational, illogical, and overall.... just perfect.

We have him signed up beginning next week for day camp.... and it will be 3 hours a day/3 days a week... I am hoping against hope that he handles it well... and doesn't get himself kicked out.

I am happy to report that our inter district transfer was approved by our home district, and the school we wanted accepted our transfer. He actually gets screened today to see whether he will do better in Kinder or the 2 year Kinder-Plus program. He's a younger kid... will turn 5 in November... and has not had the benefit of social interactions of pre-school. His fine motor skills are a bit behind (from what I understand at least)not all that interested in coloring, drawing, not able to cut with scissors, glue or paint sends him into convulsions of "gooey hands!" "it's sticky!" I need to wash them riiiight now!!"

Ugh... don't even get me started on the monumental task of getting him to wipe his own butt! If he gets anything on his hands, he flips out. He abandons the task of wiping mid-stream. He HAS to stop and wash his hands... And he doesn't dry them all that well, and then he still needs to finish wiping - with damp hands and poopy butt and soggy toilet paper.... I think my head just exploded.


Yeah... well... we are really trying to impress upon him that he just needs to buck up and finish the job, poopy hands or no, and wash his hands at the VERY end. (heh, get it... END!!)

Anyyyyway.

I am renewing my efforts to get healthy, both mentally and physically... to be the best mom I can be each given day. And to try and quiet the voice in my head that says I am screwing it up, or need to be perfect. Cause I am not. My house is messy, laundry is unfolded. I lose my patience to easily, don't exercise... need to remember that my kids are KIDS and not mini-adults. I need to relax my expectations for myself and just enjoy this time as much as possible. I need to remind myself I will be a great mom, a good-enough cook, and a terrible housekeeper some days... and on those days where I am a good-enough mom, and a great house keeper, we will most likely get Costco pizza for dinner.

I know that some days the priorities will shift. But for now... the world will not spin off its axis if there is unfolded laundry in the living room, clutter in the van, or non-organic bananas in the fruit bowl. (well, maybe a just little bit on the bananas...) Compromise, balance... calmness. I know it's possible... people do it all the time. And without medication. It's about time I join the ranks.