Bah Humbug!

Forgive my absence... as if there is anyone left that reads anyway... save for family and a very few family friends.

To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement... So picture the word "overwhelmed" - and now imagine it as double-bolded-all-caps-locked-red-underlined in a freaked-out looking font - OVERWHELMED!!!!! There... that is me.

Where to start...

The vast majority of our list is as-yet not shopped for... our Christmas cards never made it to fruition... the butter spritz cookies I made yesterday... dry, and mis-shapen. (P.S. Eff you, Martha, oh...and you too Wilton - that replacement cookie press you sent me is first-grade CRAP!)

Our stockings are not yet hung by the chimney with care. And, while I am confessing... we still have not decorated our tree. I doubt we will, either - because it is all I can do to keep Ashley from chewing on the lead-laden boughs and lights, while they are plugged in.

My fantasy of having studio family Christmas pictures taken this year, dashed. The Picture People closed up shop here... and I even had coupons. Lame. The calendar is nearly, but not quite done. There is the also the issue of familial dramz, which is to be expected, I guess.

I had an afternoon of crafts planned for today... we even went to the craft store... and all we have to show for it is one lonely snowflake, and 1 of the 3 WonderPets in felt-ornament form. Linny... if you are at ALL interested. The baby screamed the whole time... I was beyond frustrated, and Travis kept wielding the scissors like a samurai.

And that doesn't even count the fact that I scraped all the caulking out of the Master bath shower Friday...(it was seriously, disgusting....)I had every intention of re-caulking it the same day. Of course, once it was totally scraped out, an hour and a half later, then I realized the caulking we bought (months ago) isn't suitable for use in the shower. Oh, and of course, we STILL have not yet bought the right kind... so, I have showered only twice in the last 6 days... in Travis' bathroom... which sucks much ass. Zero water pressure, and no place to put Ashley so she doesn't crawl around the toilet and do her damnedest to fall into the bathtub - wailing all the while.

Friday evening, I managed to throw my jeans, with my cell phone still in the pocket into the washer.... lovely, no? At least I was able to back up my old contacts... and we pay the insurance fee monthly. $50 later, I had my brand new replacement the very next day.
What else.... oh, every time the baby falls asleep in the afternoon while I am nursing her... like freaking clockwork... Travis has to take a crap, and needs me to get up, while still holding the baby with one hand... to wipe him, and 9 times out of 10, he's already managed to get shit all over the bathroom.

And Little Miss... still thinks she can let go of things while holding on... and falls to her peril... she can scale the stairs (I am waiting on a special-order gate for the bottom of the stairs)- so ALL day long, it's chase her away from the stairs, the tree, the fireplace doors, and every chance she gets she heads over to the entertainment center, messes with the volume, plays with my iPod... tries to hit the power button on the Xbox, Everytime I turn around, it's all I can do to keep her from chewing on the laptop cord... or else I'm removing one of Travis' hot wheels - or the "carpet candy" she finds under T's dining chair from her mouth.

And, finally... how about two days ago when Travis had the mother of all freakout meltdowns in the midst of Safeway... during which I checked out with only a quarter of what I needed... and of course, still will not go back in there with him by myself. Thank god I made lasagna Sunday, or we'd be starving. Oh, and thank goodness for the kindess of a stranger, aptly named "Holly" who helped me get the groceries and the flipped-out child(ren)safely into the van. She said she has 4 kids, so knows exactly how that is. After the last few weeks dealing with the kids (Travis especially, he's getting really out-of-control) I wouldn't be surprised to learn that my tubes spontaneously tied themselves. Just sayin'.

Sooo..yeah... I think that's about it... and while I know some people would KILL to have my problems... it's still no less frustrating, overwhelming, and crazy.