Tuesday, August 17, 2004

...

Hello! Well, everything's great here... really, it's so strange how I should be stressing out big time... I mean, due with baby boy in a couple of months, and also have to find a new place to live before then. And pack, and move, and unpack. Sigh. Weird how I feel so calm, and at peace, and not the least bit like my normal anxious worrywart self.

Lunch with my mom was nice. She's seemed to have dropped that negativity thing. Weird. She's treating me like an adult (it's about time! I AM 27, and pregnant with her grandson!) It's like she just realized I'm living my life for real, and I'm not just some little girl playing house... I've been married for almost 7 years, and in the same relationship for 10. I have my shit more together than she's ever had. I live in a nicer place, and have my cute little car, and it's paid off, and everything.

She lives in the same crappy apartment in a bad part of her town that she's lived in for like 5 years, and doesn't even own a vehicle. (She swears she prefers it that way... but I hate depending on other people or the bus to take me where I need to go.) She doesn't have cable or a computer, or a dvd player, or anything nice at all. I feel like she's settled for having her lifestyle be just mediocre instead of striving to make it better. That's what Jeff and I have been trying to do the entire time we've been together. Little by little, upgrading our living space, and our belongings, to make our lives better.

Maybe we're a little materialistic, but having nice things make us happy. We grew up poor, and without. We've worked really hard for years, and slowly aquired nicer and nicer things. We have a nice 35 inch TV in the living room, and a surround sound system, and a Sat. Dish and TiVo, and a dvd recorder/player, with lots and lots of dvds and cds. We have a 27 inch tv in our bedroom, and another dvd player. We have a nice couch, and a recliner, and dining set, and a nice bedroom set, and nice clothes, and I have every kitchen gadget I could want, from an ice cream maker, a deep fryer, a Kitchenaid Mixer with pasta making attachments, nice pots and pans, you name it.

When we started out we lived in a loft in my dad's house with no furniture or much of anything, and slept on a matress on the floor. We were happy then too!

All of these things obviously wouldn't matter if something terrible like a fire were to happen. They can be easily replaced by our renter's insurance.

Family is the only irreplacable thing. We would only grab my Mr. Kitty and our photo albums on the way out the door. But still, these things contribute to our happiness in life. Is that so bad?

But, to each their own, I guess.

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