Mom's the Word!

Onward, and upward!

2009-10-02T14:33:00.000-07:00

I read something recently that gave me pause.

"You are becoming the parent you are now."

I realize that I need to refocus on the most important things... celebrate the little things, enjoy this time to the fullest, because it is zipping by faster than I could ever had imagined.

I have had some time lately to reflect on things, and internally reorganize my priorities.

I am constantly worrying about things, and I am going to work on trying to push some of that stuff into the background. Work on being more positive. More present. More balanced. Just more me.

So... I'm moving blogs. If anyone even still reads... or even still cares. It's time. To leave this blog behind... and start again fresh, new. Obviously, I am more than just "Tjsmommy" now.

I am still working on importing my old entries - just to have them in one place - I need to get it looking the way I want and then I should be regularly updating again soon.

So, if you want to know my new whereabouts... just comment and I will see you on the flip side.

We're going to Disneyland!!

2009-09-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

Depleted

2009-08-14T09:55:00.001-07:00

I don't quite know where to start... This may sound whiny and self-indulgent... But I really don't care. I don't like me right now. I see patterns emerging from my own childhood... Words are flung around in the heat of parental frustration... things I am immediately sorry have escaped my lips. Tones used, shouting, yelling... Perpetual scowl lines etched into my forehead. Not enough real interaction...

I feel neglectful of them, of him, the upkeep of our home, of myself. Going through the motions... Not proud of myself. I don't know when this funk started, or when or how it will go away. I feel flat, frustrated, empty, negative... Unbalanced. In disarray. 16 months is too long for postpartum depression, right?

I think I have been in denial. Short of going on medication, I don't know what else to do. I have two gorgeous children, the sweetest husband, a beautiful home. I know these days of my children's youth are precious and few. I don't want to squander these days. I don't want to resent them... To look forward only to the silence at the very end of the day, once they finally drift off to sleep. I want to be present, fun, whimsical, reasonable, hopeful. I just want to be me again.

And again...

2009-07-10T08:44:00.001-07:00

And again...
Originally uploaded by tjsmommabear

Trying unsuccessfully to get Ashley to use her newest word "hungry". Of course, as soon as the video was over she said it a bunch of times!

This may save my blog yet...

2009-07-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I just got the BlogPress app. It's not perfect... but for $3.00 it works. So now I can blog while out and about.... Chasing Baby Girl around and trying to keep her safe from herself. The climbing everything in sight thing is getting pretty effing old. Wish me luck trying to keep her out of the ER and me out of the Nuthouse.

FOB2Y

2009-07-03T15:32:00.001-07:00

You Are a Green Smoothie

You are a conscientious, health oriented person. You like fresh, whole foods.

You have an open mind about life. You enjoy all sorts of things, and you're not picky.

In fact, you believe the best things in life tend to be underrated or a bit intimidating.

You are bold and daring. You enjoy taking risks and living life to the fullest.

What Flavor Smoothie Are You?

Chatty Ashley....

2009-07-02T22:21:00.001-07:00

Housewife? Ha!

2009-06-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well, obviously I am slacking at this whole blogging thing... life is too busy yet reasonably mundane. Nothing terribly exciting, I suppose. Day-to-day tasks... shuttling Travis the 30-some miles (one-way)to daycamp 3 days a week leaving by 9:15 to make it by 10:00... taking A to the mommy-and-me baby classes...grocery shopping, coffee, etc. Home by 3 or 4 those days. Sometimes they nap on the way home.

Weekends are family time, trips to the amusement parks, etc. Spending way too much money eating out - you know - normal stuff.

Ashley is running full-bore into terrible twos mode... and the crazy screaming thing she started doing seriously drives me... well... crazy!

She also climbs things. The dining room table, for instance, on top of the computer desk. This morning I found her sitting in the planter outside pulling up my herbs.

Lately, play dough for 5-10 minutes 4ish times a day safely strapped in her high chair (kinda) is the only way I can get ANY little tasks done... lunch made, dishwasher unloaded, etc.

And, so...the to-do-list never gets any smaller.

Laundry never gets fully done. Washed, yes, most times. Sorted, folded? Sigh... I need a better system.... ANY system. Chores? Mimimally surface-scratched done. I pick and choose battles. Triage the worst things, ignore the rest as long as possible. The bathrooms get cleaned often... we always seem to have dishes in the sink and a full load running in the dishwasher. The van is always cluttered, and needs a both wash, and a servicing, but that's a story for another paycheck.

I am a FlyLady drop-out many times over.

But I made a kick-ass coffee cake for breakfast this morning. Laundry is going...And I will shower today... so that it automatically a win for today, right?

Leavin' on a (notsomuch) Jet Plane

2009-06-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

Leaving tomorrow with Ashley to visit my dear friend Samantha in Phoenix until Sunday. It is going to kick major ass! We are like mama soul-mates. And we have not seen each other in waaaaay too long. Travis and her little girl Elana played together when they were wee little things... from 3 months old until they were almost 3. We were all inseparable. And then. Separation happened... completely out of our control... and I have felt a piece of my heart missing ever since.

I can't wait to take a few days out, and relax, catch up, and hang out. And Travis will have the best time watching Up with his Daddy, going to the amusement parks, and eating treaty yummy things with daddy.

Kiddos playing around

2009-05-29T12:09:00.001-07:00

Kiddos playing around
Originally uploaded by tjsmommabear

For once they are not terrorizing each other... ;)

Paradigm shift

2009-05-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

It's been blog-neglect 'round these parts lately...

I can assure you stuff and things have been happening...

Board books are being read... ad infinitum...

Pictures are being taken. We just got a brand new point and shoot Canon for those situations where lugging out the Rebel just seems like a bit too much.

We have secured season passes to the amusements parks... so we spent last Saturday at Great America and this one at Gilroy Gardens.

I am really working on the whole patience thing. Really. The stress I have in my head at any given time would make your head spin. Well, it does me... it also can cause heart palpitations and panic attacks. Like yesterday when I flipped out over a (minor - really it was) flat tire. Ugh. It is a process, right?

Baby Girl continues to amaze me daily with her sweetness, love, intelligence, persistence and insanity. She learned how to climb up on the couches and recliner... and now tries to stand UP on them and rock or run across them. So, she also now spends a large part of her day trying to give me a heart attack (see above).

She also doles out hugs and kisses like candy. She picks up objects that are almost her own size (18 pounds at 14 months.... she's a wee thing) and walks around with them. She has figured out how to operate our fancy motion-sensor trash can... and chucks toys an bits of paper in there every chance she gets.

She has NO fear. I mean it. NONE. She will run full-speed into the ocean or toward the down escalator without a second thought. She stands up in shopping carts or high chairs... even while buckled in. Cause since she can still wear 3-6 month clothes, no straps can contain her tightly enough to keep her from wiggling. We have a Floppy Seat from T's babyhood... and the strap is even tied to give her less slack. Nope, doesn't work. The Eddie Bauer high chair at home is no match for Danger Baby. We've become very adept at eating our meals one-handed, while keeping a firm grip around one of her ankles lest she launch herself out of the highchair and onto the floor.

Travis is... well... he is 4 1/2! Like every bit 4 1/2!!!!! He frustrates, amazes, and entertains us daily.

He is a bundle of energy... a cosmic force to be reckoned with. He is impulsive, compulsive, and bright.

He can navigate a computer with ease... his mouse clicking abilities amaze and astound. He can argue like a defense attorney... and he does... Every. Single. Chance. He. Gets. He believes in the power of persuasion... meaning if he repeats his wants over and over and over.... they will come to fruition. He is highly irrational, illogical, and overall.... just perfect.

We have him signed up beginning next week for day camp.... and it will be 3 hours a day/3 days a week... I am hoping against hope that he handles it well... and doesn't get himself kicked out.

I am happy to report that our inter district transfer was approved by our home district, and the school we wanted accepted our transfer. He actually gets screened today to see whether he will do better in Kinder or the 2 year Kinder-Plus program. He's a younger kid... will turn 5 in November... and has not had the benefit of social interactions of pre-school. His fine motor skills are a bit behind (from what I understand at least)not all that interested in coloring, drawing, not able to cut with scissors, glue or paint sends him into convulsions of "gooey hands!" "it's sticky!" I need to wash them riiiight now!!"

Ugh... don't even get me started on the monumental task of getting him to wipe his own butt! If he gets anything on his hands, he flips out. He abandons the task of wiping mid-stream. He HAS to stop and wash his hands... And he doesn't dry them all that well, and then he still needs to finish wiping - with damp hands and poopy butt and soggy toilet paper.... I think my head just exploded.

Yeah... well... we are really trying to impress upon him that he just needs to buck up and finish the job, poopy hands or no, and wash his hands at the VERY end. (heh, get it... END!!)

Anyyyyway.

I am renewing my efforts to get healthy, both mentally and physically... to be the best mom I can be each given day. And to try and quiet the voice in my head that says I am screwing it up, or need to be perfect. Cause I am not. My house is messy, laundry is unfolded. I lose my patience to easily, don't exercise... need to remember that my kids are KIDS and not mini-adults. I need to relax my expectations for myself and just enjoy this time as much as possible. I need to remind myself I will be a great mom, a good-enough cook, and a terrible housekeeper some days... and on those days where I am a good-enough mom, and a great house keeper, we will most likely get Costco pizza for dinner.

I know that some days the priorities will shift. But for now... the world will not spin off its axis if there is unfolded laundry in the living room, clutter in the van, or non-organic bananas in the fruit bowl. (well, maybe a just little bit on the bananas...) Compromise, balance... calmness. I know it's possible... people do it all the time. And without medication. It's about time I join the ranks.

Crazy Monkey Girl!

2009-04-27T10:26:00.001-07:00

Crazy Monkey Girl!
Originally uploaded by tjsmommabear

I ordered clear mesh that I plan on attaching with zip-ties to thwart these new antics!

Not a treehugger... but getting a wee bit closer.

2009-04-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hey! It's Earth Day! :)

I have been compiling this mental list of things we've done over this last year to be more Earth Friendly and Environmentally Aware. Most things also have the added bonus of saving some money so, win-win! :)

Now that we have a house, with our own laundry, I was able to make a major switch. Ashley is cloth diapered 50-75% of the time - also using cloth wipes the majority of the time. We usually use disposables when we go out of the house (don't want to deal with transporting icky diapers back home)and also we use them overnight since we co-sleep, and want our bed to stay clean and dry. I realize there is wool for overnights, and storing diapes in wetbags for dirties, but this just works for us right now.

Speaking of laundry, we bought a High-Efficiency washer and dryer when we bought the house. I do diaper laundry 2 times a week, and it uses considerably less water, gas, and electricity that a non HE model. Even though I run a cold rinse/drain, followed by 2 full hot cycles - it still uses the same amount or less water than a single cycle would in a top loader.

We only use HE detergent which has the added benefit (since you use less per load) of lasting longer.

As for detergents, we use Ecos (for day-to-day laundry) or 7th Generation (I only use this for diapers, as it's more $$) but it has no optical brighteners, fabric softener, or other stuff that can break down or leave residue cloth diapers and covers.

Both detergents are earth-friendly, phosphate-free, and made from non-toxic, plant-based, natural ingredients.

We are a bleach-free family. I opt instead for natural-based OXO BRITE to deal with laundry stains. As for diaper stains, there is the old-fashioned line drying in the sun (which bleaches stains) - it's free, natural, and effective!

I use only Method Cleansers or Mrs. Meyer's for day-to-day our cleaning... kitchen, bathrooms, wood furniture cleaning, etc.

I also use vinegar for cleaning. It's got anti-bacterial properties, and helps with hard water mineral deposits.

I admit to using Lysol toilet cleanser - it is the only chemical-based household cleansing agent I use, and I don't know of any way around that at the moment. We have hard water and low-flow toilets. The combination cause really unsightly blackish stains, discoloration, and build-up in our bowls. The Lysol cleanser is the only thing I have found that combats it.

I use microfiber towels for dusting, cleaning bathrooms, and glass, and mirrors. We have a microfiber mop as well. After cleaning, the go right into the washer.

We are scaling back our paper towel usage, but that is a hard one with 2 little people who make big messes.

My dad recently bought me a Shark Steam mop, which even though it's electric, saves me from having to even use the Method stuff on the floors. It uses only water for cleaning. And with 1100 square feet of hard floors, every little bit helps!

We bought a fake tree for Christmas this year, and replaced our old strings of lights LED lights.

We bring our own bags whenever possible. (Remembering them is a matter of putting them on the doorknob right after they are emptied so they make it back out to the car the next trip out.)

We have almost completely cut out buying water in plastic bottles. I used to clear out my car and it would be filled with empties.

I have also been researching composting and eliminating some or all of our lawn in favor of low-water, no-mow options. As it is,we only water by hand right now since our sprinker valve needs to be replaced.

By no means are we perfect... we definately have a lot of room for improvments/refinement. We still forget our reusable bags in the car, use too many paper towels, and have a 4 year old that loves to flush the toilet, even after just one pee. But it's little things that add up!

1 year....

2009-04-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Ashley is 1 year old!!! It's crazy! We had our 12 month Pediatric visit yesterday. She is 17 lbs, 4 oz, and 29 inches long. Travis was her size at 5 months!! But, he also din't crawl or walk anywhere near as early as she has.

She is my sweet littles... and depending on the brand, she can still wear 0-3 onesie-type things, or 9-12 month type things - with varying degrees of hugeness on her, depending on if she's wearing cloth vs. disposable diper. She's still in the Medium Fuzzibunz, and the one-size pockets I got her are snapped at the smallest size for the waist, and the second smallest for the leg (so she can walk around without chafting.)

During our Doc visit, she walked around the room, climbed up repeatedly on the step to get onto the exam table, tried to pull herself completely onto an adult-sized chair (and nearly did it!) She literally would not stop moving for a second! Dr. H remarked he felt sorry for me for having to try and keep up with her. LOL! So, yeah.... this is why she's so petite... she burns of 87,000,000 calories a day getting into mischief.

She also loves all things carbs. My child? Yes!! She eats Trader Joes Os like they are going outta style. Crackers, Os, Puffs, Bananas, Bread, and most recently, croissants, all top the list of things she will eat without much of a fuss.

Dairy is really iffy... causing havoc at times with her... Although I made her a grilled cheese the other night (Deceptively Delicious Style) but on a croissant (cause I realized I bought the nut-filled bread)and she ate it up without too much issue to her system, besides being a little gassier than usual. Fruits (besides bananas) and veggies are tough to get her to eat these days. So it looks like I am going to have to resort to some sneaky tactics in addition to offering her the actual fruit.

She says: "mama" "dada" "brother" "cracker" "yeah!yeah!yeah!" "yaya" (water)
She also signs "diaper change" "more" "Ohs" (thumb and pointer to make an O) "bird" "milk" "eat" and waves bye-bye, last time we went to the Aquarium, she made the fish sign after only being shown a couple of times.

It's still hard to believe my little Buttercup of Love is 1!

Birthday Baby in a bag!

2009-04-06T11:51:00.001-07:00

Birthday Baby in a bag!, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Happy 1st Birthday Buttercups of love!!

Because I just can't make this stuff up...

2009-03-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Travis just woke up, and requested Disney shows. While watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he says. "Mommy! My penis is a circle!

Um... ok, what are they teaching you on that show, kiddo?!

Menu Plan Monday...

2009-03-23T14:06:00.000-07:00

I know I have long been slacking on the menu plan posting... and actually over-all on some weight-loss front stuff. I am still losing weight here and there... it has tapered off considerably... because I can't yet get much walking in with the two crazy kiddos. But, I am okay with that. Almost all my clothes are too big again... and my pants are always falling off my ass. Hubby says I just need a belt, heh.

I have been doing smoothies for breakfast lately. I like them, they are quick, easily customized, and even T likes them... oblivious that his oft-protested Children's DHA is cleverly blended in among the frozen blueberries, strawberries and bananas and yogurt. (The oil is strawberry flavored - and although I can taste it, I am not bothered by it.)

So... this week's menu follows... heavily influenced by the arrival of my new Everyday Food Magazine. I just lurve that mag... I have been getting it since they started... and Martha never disappoints!

Monday:
Quick chicken Pad Thai (from America's Test Kitchen Fresh & Fast recipe cards 2007)
stir-fried broccoli

Tuesday:
Broccoli, tomato, and mozzarella Stromboli *

Wednedsday:

Chicken and also Asparagus, leek & gruyere quiche**

Thursday: Pasta & salad

Friday:either take-out or leftovers... Sunday is Jeff's b-day, and I will be making him his favorite 4-layer German Chocolate cake Friday to take up to his mom's on Saturday to celebrate. (Perhaps I will type up the recipe - I use Rosine's recipe from their cookbook. which is amazing... I have gone through 3 copies of it in the last 15 years.)

Misc days: Carrot-Ginger smoothies (breakfast)

* make pizza dough for strombolis using whole wheat flour

** make pie crust for quiche with whole wheat pastry flour - does it make me a total geek that I am disappointed I don't get to blind bake the shell and use my pie weights?

FOB2Y - Girl Scout Cookies

2009-03-15T13:38:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year again... they are everywhere. You couldn't escape them if you tried! But, why would you want to?

Girl Scout Cookies, of course.

We love but two varieties. Thin Mints and Samoas. They are both completely, evilly, delicious. Last year they changed the name of the Samoas to Caramel Delites.... but the thankfully, saw the error of their ways. Because our beloved caramel chocolate coconut cookies were back to being called Samoas this year. Whatever you call them, I think they are just perfect.

I am also very glad that they are only available once a year... otherwise I would have a very hard time resisting them!

Same old...

2009-03-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

Not too much going on... the kids are good, and daily drive me insane. Ashley takes3-5 steps at a time before plopping down in her bottom. She has started using the "milk" sign whenever she wants something... a toy, a snack, etc. I cannot believe she will be 1 in a few short weeks. Where does the time go?

Besides that... enjoying the small amounts of family time we get with Jeff... and we went to San Francisco last Saturday while MIL watched T. It was a lot of fun. A much-needed break, I assure you.

My patience level with Travis is non-existent at times... he flat-out refuses to listen most of the time... and time-outs, yelling, arguments are a far-too-often occurrence. Some days (like today) I just can't wait until he is in school. Poor Ashley never has quiet. He does his damnedest to wake her up while she is napping, and just all around makes her days pretty miserable with all the crap he pulls. Sigh. But, then again...he's 4. I just have to keep reminding myself of that....

FOB2Y 3/5

2009-03-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

Playing along with the digiscrap girls at SweetShoppeDesigns.

Your Carnations Say You're Very Likable

You have a distinct style... one that many people find fascinating.

You are charming and alluring. People are drawn to you - and you are very popular.

You never forget a name or a face. And the people you love are always on your mind.

Some people may accuse you of being out of touch, but you're truly a classic.

What Do The Flowers You Pick Say About You?

FOB2Y

2009-02-19T17:02:00.000-08:00

This is for my 1st FOB2Y (From Our Blog to Yours) for a Sweet Rewards point from Sweet Shop Designs.

You Are a Guru

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world.

You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.

Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.

Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.

Your strength: Your inner peace

Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds

Your power color: Emerald

Your power symbol: Leaf

Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I haven't been blogging....

2009-02-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

..But life is still happening.

Round and round...

2009-02-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

I am stuck in this infinite loop. Get up with the babe before Travis wakes up...pee, (with babe on my lap 99% of the time) coffee, email, Facebook, Twitter, blogs... keep baby from peril...Travis gets up... keep him from messing with baby, keep baby from peril...nurse, breakfast, feed us all, change baby's diaper, nurse, email, Facebook, Twitter,blogs.... dress kids... keep Travis from messing with baby, keep baby from peril...shower (or not), snack,nurse, email, Facebook, Twitter, blogs... keep Travis from messing with baby, keep baby from peril...lunch, leave house, (or not), tv, games, snack, lunch....nurse, hope for nap!!!!, email, Facebook, Twitter, blogs.... finally unload dishwasher....blabla....

It's crazy... I get NO time to myself to do anything I want to do.... yeah, ok.... so I probably have an internet addiction...it's definitely escapism....my connection to the "outside world." But people... I cannot even PEE by myself!!!

I was Hoodwinked, Hornswaggled, Harangued. Kids are great... but they are also INSANE.... and they only seem to get more so with the passage of time. Your life? No longer your own. You look and suddenly crazy amounts of time have passed since you were able to do things you used to enjoy... like knit, see a movie, or be intimate with your own husband, or were even able to finish a thought.

All I know is that it absoutely HAS to get better.... please just lie to me... just tell me it does.

Cause seriously? Two kids is my maximum load... the most I can handle. I doubt my own sanity and competent-ness (wtf... is that even a WORD?!)

I wouldn't trade large parts of it for the world. The soft breathing,the sweet-smelling, the gurgles, coos, affectionate hugs, the open-mouthed baby kisses, the giggles, the belly-laughs...touseled hair, the ability to make the world right with a nursing session, or a hug and kiss - a cookie... the joyful sound of play, the interaction, recognition, the knowlege-aquiring .... the imagination, the word "Mama", hearing "I love you mommy", the singing - the wrong lyrics, and out of key......all these things and so many more.... they make the routine, the drugery, the day-to-day grind is so very, very worth it.

I just need to remind myself of this from time to time....

Checking in...

2009-01-19T20:54:00.000-08:00

I think this stupid cold is on the way out! Yay!!! Just been icky feeling since Thursday... Ashley has one runny nostril... no biggy. Same with Travis... a little cough and tiny sniffle, but hardly at all.

I feel like a truck hit me... but you know, I also need to get in shape, etc. While I have been battling this cold, I have slipped a bit on my eating plan... butter and cheese have made their way back in... and I baked Oatmeal Butterscotch Chip cookies with Travis today... I had a couple... but we made them with whole wheat pastry flour, and unbleached sugar.... oats... not too bad, right? ;)

Anyway... while I am sick, I cut myself some slack. But, even with my dietary transgressions, I still haven't gained anything.... even though I am hosting PMS this week... so, yay for that!

We took the kids to the Aquarium yesterday... when I find my card reader, I will put up some pictures. It wasd fun to watch Ashley play in the baby area. She is so outgoing, and advanced in her physical activity! Very different from Travis at this age. It's amazing.

Anyway... nursing the babe, and rubbing Travis' hair to get him to sleep next to me on the couch. Sigh... quiet at last!

Last one standing...

2009-01-13T10:49:00.000-08:00

Our tree is still up... I really need to take it down. We wanted to do it this weekend, it just never happened. I am taking the ornaments off tonight, at least that's my intent. Oh well, the merits of a fake tree, I guess...Taking the stockings, mantle crap down. Packing away the wrapping paper and bows for next year.

WTF is up with Target not putting the Christmas storage boxes on clearance yet? Grr! I was barely able to get any wrapping paper on clearance at all this year... everything was swooped up in record speed. But those damned storage totes taunt me each time I go.

What a first-world problem to have tough... right?

Anyway... I am a collosal slacker. Need to get my crap together... get dressed, and go get my mom so she can come hang out and get her laundry done.

Letting it all out...

2009-01-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been blogging all that much... well... there's a reason for that. I fear I am rapidly approaching the "burn-out" point with my kids. (With both of them, but with Travis especially... it's gotten very difficult around here lately...) I don't really want to come on here and rant and rave about how frustrated I am all the time... or how I haven't been able to even manage a shower for days on end. I also don't want to sugar-coat and gloss over things.... which I already feel I do too much here... but, anyway... something has got to give. I feel just drained... and I get very little in the way of a break.... ok, I'll say it. No break. Not a 100% break. Not ever.

I am beginning to really resent myself, and how I interact with my son. I have had to resort to yelling, swatting (which I REALLY don't believe in!), time-outs in his room, while he's screaming on the other side with the door closed. I don't like this, not one bit. I am at a loss... frustrated... really...

I know this sounds whiny and self-indulgent. I know it was my choice to have kids and stay home with them... I understand all of this. It doesn't change how things are. Anyone who knows me knows I love my kids sooo much... I use humor and snarkiness to diffuse most frustrating things. But jeezus. These kiddos demand every last shred of patience, every last ounce of everything I have to give. I don't know how parents of multiples do it... I would seriously go nutso with more than two.

Ashley barely sleeps all day. Usually, it involves me trying for an hour, just so she will sleep 20 minutes... and that doesn't count the many, many, times Travis will do something purposefully to wake her up. She spends 90% of the time she does sleep nursing. So, it's not like I can pop her in the swing for naps, and get anything done - the last 9 months have been trying to say the least.

I am looking at pre-schools. Most are full, religiously affiliated, or otherwise prohibitively expensive. Jeff's income disqualifies us for any type of cost break... so we need to sit down, and figure out if we can possibly budget $400 a month for us to send Travis to pre-school 3 days a week.

Also, I have started the Sonoma Diet again... because my old way of eating, skipping meals, not caring for myself, it had to stop. I started a Sonoma Diet recipe blog a few years ago, and never kept it updated. http://sonomarecipes.blogspot.com/ I have resurrected it, and plan on keeping it updated for as long as I can. I have started back on my vitamins, and my goal is to be off of my blood pressure meds completely by January 1, 2010.

Anyway.... I am still alive and mostly well... I just need to focus on getting healthier, happier, and better at my job, which is really the most important thing, right? Some days I just need to remember to put my own oxygen mask on first... of that makes any sense at all....

Happy 2009!!!

2009-01-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

This year... I have no complex lists of resolutions to be forgotten by March. This year... I just want to enjoy my family, my home, my life. I want to simplify. I want to have more fun!

I think that, I can manage!

This about sums it up...

2008-12-19T10:12:00.001-08:00

This about sums it up..., originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Bah Humbug!

2008-12-17T17:48:00.001-08:00

Forgive my absence... as if there is anyone left that reads anyway... save for family and a very few family friends.

To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement... So picture the word "overwhelmed" - and now imagine it as double-bolded-all-caps-locked-red-underlined in a freaked-out looking font - OVERWHELMED!!!!! There... that is me.

Where to start...

The vast majority of our list is as-yet not shopped for... our Christmas cards never made it to fruition... the butter spritz cookies I made yesterday... dry, and mis-shapen. (P.S. Eff you, Martha, oh...and you too Wilton - that replacement cookie press you sent me is first-grade CRAP!)

Our stockings are not yet hung by the chimney with care. And, while I am confessing... we still have not decorated our tree. I doubt we will, either - because it is all I can do to keep Ashley from chewing on the lead-laden boughs and lights, while they are plugged in.

My fantasy of having studio family Christmas pictures taken this year, dashed. The Picture People closed up shop here... and I even had coupons. Lame. The calendar is nearly, but not quite done. There is the also the issue of familial dramz, which is to be expected, I guess.

I had an afternoon of crafts planned for today... we even went to the craft store... and all we have to show for it is one lonely snowflake, and 1 of the 3 WonderPets in felt-ornament form. Linny... if you are at ALL interested. The baby screamed the whole time... I was beyond frustrated, and Travis kept wielding the scissors like a samurai.

And that doesn't even count the fact that I scraped all the caulking out of the Master bath shower Friday...(it was seriously, disgusting....)I had every intention of re-caulking it the same day. Of course, once it was totally scraped out, an hour and a half later, then I realized the caulking we bought (months ago) isn't suitable for use in the shower. Oh, and of course, we STILL have not yet bought the right kind... so, I have showered only twice in the last 6 days... in Travis' bathroom... which sucks much ass. Zero water pressure, and no place to put Ashley so she doesn't crawl around the toilet and do her damnedest to fall into the bathtub - wailing all the while.

Friday evening, I managed to throw my jeans, with my cell phone still in the pocket into the washer.... lovely, no? At least I was able to back up my old contacts... and we pay the insurance fee monthly. $50 later, I had my brand new replacement the very next day.
What else.... oh, every time the baby falls asleep in the afternoon while I am nursing her... like freaking clockwork... Travis has to take a crap, and needs me to get up, while still holding the baby with one hand... to wipe him, and 9 times out of 10, he's already managed to get shit all over the bathroom.

And Little Miss... still thinks she can let go of things while holding on... and falls to her peril... she can scale the stairs (I am waiting on a special-order gate for the bottom of the stairs)- so ALL day long, it's chase her away from the stairs, the tree, the fireplace doors, and every chance she gets she heads over to the entertainment center, messes with the volume, plays with my iPod... tries to hit the power button on the Xbox, Everytime I turn around, it's all I can do to keep her from chewing on the laptop cord... or else I'm removing one of Travis' hot wheels - or the "carpet candy" she finds under T's dining chair from her mouth.

And, finally... how about two days ago when Travis had the mother of all freakout meltdowns in the midst of Safeway... during which I checked out with only a quarter of what I needed... and of course, still will not go back in there with him by myself. Thank god I made lasagna Sunday, or we'd be starving. Oh, and thank goodness for the kindess of a stranger, aptly named "Holly" who helped me get the groceries and the flipped-out child(ren)safely into the van. She said she has 4 kids, so knows exactly how that is. After the last few weeks dealing with the kids (Travis especially, he's getting really out-of-control) I wouldn't be surprised to learn that my tubes spontaneously tied themselves. Just sayin'.

Sooo..yeah... I think that's about it... and while I know some people would KILL to have my problems... it's still no less frustrating, overwhelming, and crazy.

'Tis the Season...

2008-12-04T11:20:00.000-08:00

Not much exciting going on lately... which is not really a negative thing, if you ask me. Aside from a couple of random puking episodes by Travis the other night, all has been mostly quiet.

Ashley's 3rd tooth finally broke through... and she is working on her 4th. So far with first foods, avocado seems to be the big favorite. We've done sweet potatoes, applesauce, pears, bananas (which caused back-up issues), and baby oatmeal (only twice - for the same reason as bananas)

Most waking, (and asleep moments) she is either camped out next to me on the couch, nursing... or in a carrier (if we are out) nearly always in arms, either that or getting into trouble by trying to scale the stairs, or mess with various pieces of technology. She loves the Harmony remote, my cell phone, the buttons on the X-Box, and the computer. Her brother's light-up shoes amaze her... and disgust me, in my never-ending effort to keep her from licking them when they get discarded near her reach.

She still hates everyone but me (I am only partially kidding) - she will flirt with daddy and the grandparents while ensconced safely in my arms... but if I dare to hand her over, 9 times out of 10 it is meltdown city.

Travis is doing well... loves his Leapster games...and has memorized the entire opening sequence of his Sonic Game, replete with hand actions. He loves Mario Kart on the Wii. He's mouthy, and punky, and loving, sweet, and cute all at once. He is 100% using the potty during the day. I am so proud of him! Once we are out of the Pull-ups we have, I won't buy anymore, except for possibly the night time ones.

He's really getting very good at communicating very articulate thoughts... yesterday, after watching Wall-e with me and my mom he said:

"Mommy, for halloween I can be Wall-E, and Grandma Mary can be Eve. You can be a witch or something!"

Ok... I will try my best not to be offended by that statement.

Travis is really getting the idea of Christmas this year. He asked to hear the "Jingle all the way" song today. I put some Christmas songs back on my ipod, and we listened to them today.

I really want to start decorating, and maybe we will get some holiday pictures taken this weekend if the kids are agreeable.

And as for me... I still have not used my scrummy bubble bath or my new bathtub, or colored my hair.

Yeah, besides wrangling the kiddos...I get next to nothing accomplished during the day... but I guess they are only this young once, and housework will always be there.

I did get some lip gloss from Sephora.com, and so actually wore makeup this week, and tweezed my eyebrows the other day. My jeans are getting bigger, although I can't find my scale... I know I am losing weight. After the holidays, I am planning to start a modified version of the Sonoma Diet once again (so I will still be able to nurse) - and still lose some weight.

So, that's about it....

In the interest of equal time...

2008-11-25T20:46:00.001-08:00

In Rare Form..., originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

She's in Rare Form...

My always serious, usually cranky baby girl... guess I caught her off guard! ;)

I love the Gymboree Poppy Fields line from 2004... I tracked down a lot on eBay with a good chunk of the pieces... overalls, 2 bodysuits, a hat, sweater, jacket, pants, socks, and 2 rompers. All for $25.00 including shipping. Plus, she just looks extra cute - and since she's been super-cranky lately...that's always a plus!

Making Progress!

2008-11-23T22:49:00.000-08:00

We have been doing great with the potty learning. This weekend, Travis has peed every single time, minus one in the potty.... also he has started to pee while standing up, and pooped on the toilet - even once while out of the house!!

There have been some challenges... especially when he first wakes in the morning - and tries to insist on a diaper.... nope, it's underwear while at home, kiddo.

Today we were out looking at dining sets.... for HOURS!!! He never put Pull-Up on at all today, only underwear. I packed an extra set of clothes when we left the house. Thankfully, we did not have to use them!! He stayed clean AND dry all day!!! We are soo proud of him!!

Hopefully, he keeps it up!! :)

"4"

2008-11-20T15:33:00.001-08:00

"4", originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

The time has flown by. Today, I looked at my baby boy - and all of a sudden...he's not a baby anymore at all. He's a full-fledged boy. Right now, we are entrenched in potty-learning, discipline, and playing, and just getting caught up in the whirlwind of days, weeks, months... But in reality, life is moving past at an astonishing rate of speed. With every milestone reached, another little piece of his childhood is left behind us.

It's all too easy to forget to take these little moments in. This is something I need to remember daily. To stop and cherish, and commit them to memory... because otherwise these little moments vanish - all too quickly, it seems.

Potty Party!

2008-11-19T21:39:00.000-08:00

Travis pooped on the potty today!! :) It was this afternoon, and he was playing on the computer. He sid "Mommy, I have to go!" and ran to the bathroom. I assumed he was going pee, but he called me in show me. After he was wiped, flushed, and hands were washed, we went upstairs to share the great news with Jeff who was working in his home office. We are sooo proud of him!

As promised, we got him a new game for his Leapster (Backyardigans) and we went to Baskin Robbins for an ice cream sundae after dinner. Yay!!!

I wasn't sure when we'd have a #2 success, because yesterday he went in his underwear. Unpleasant, for sure!

I have made a big point of "telling" Ashley within his earshot about how big Travis is, and how she can use the potty JUST LIKE BIG BROTHER when she gets bigger. You know, kids are megalomaniacs at 4, and Scorpios are even more so.

I really hope we've made a breakthrough, and that he "gets" it! So, we'll cross our fingers, and hope it continues! :)

Potty Time!

2008-11-17T22:16:00.000-08:00

Today was day 2 of Potty Training Bootcamp. Crossing fingers... but so far so good.

We have been doing underwear during the day at home, and Pull-ups for outings. Travis has peed in the potty every waking time, besides one pee accident yesterday morning, when we first put him in underwear. Last night he started to poop in his Pull-up, but finished up his business on the potty.

We promised an ice cream sundae from Baskin Robbins, and a new Leapster game for when he poops on the potty fully for the first time. You cal it bribery... we call it Operation "We'll-buy-you-an-effing-pony-just-crap-in-the-pot-kid-jeezus!"

About 6,000 times a day I ask him if he needs to go. Like a broken record I ask what he should do should he need to go potty. He repeats the Elmo Potty video propaganda verbatim. "Stop whatever you're doing and go! Otherwise you might have an accident!"

I won't lie... the thought of him peeing on the upholstery makes me ever-so-uneasy.... but at leat there is no carpet on the lower half of the house. Good fir him, bad for baby trying to walk. Whatevs...

So, wish us luck... hopefully this will be a success!

Crossing off my to-do list slooowly, slooowly.

2008-11-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

Today, I worked on our annual digi-scrappped calendar for several hours. Hubby installed Photoshop CS3 last week. I like it better than CS2 except for a few nit-picky things.

I also swept and mopped the kitchen, wiped down the fridge (which ALWAYS has smudges on it) also the dishwasher, oven, microwave. Oh, and dusted the entertainment center.

The one downside to having more room, is... um...having more room/rooms. They get dusty, cluttered, etc just eveything is more spread out, so it seems cleaner. HA!

Also? Something kinda weird... our toilets (all 3) had black rings in them when we moved in. Not too shocking, since the house was empty for many months before we bought it. I have cleaned them all very well with bleach-based toilet cleanser. I am generally very anti-chemical... I use natural cleansers whenever possible. (Except for my Swiffer Wet-Jet, and then I open all the windows!) Anyway, after a few days the black ring keeps coming back. What gives? Any ideas?

What goes up...

2008-11-11T22:38:00.000-08:00

Must come down...

She's FINE! But, Ashley fell on her head today. (Her forehead, actually) We went to Tarjay. I needed to refill my BP RX. We also needed "C" Batteries (for her jumper), diapers (in size 2 AND 6...sigh)and I needed hair color... cause ugh, damn. I also ended up picking up 2 Glade scented oil thingies for $2.50 total with a coupon! Woot! And also some jars of Organic carrots (can't do homemade - nitrates)

Travis was playing his Leapster. Ashley (for once) seemed happy in the "bucket" (car seat) I didn't bring a carrier in... it was going to be a quick trip. Or so I thought.

The Pharm tech was going to lunch... and it was going to be about 30-45 minutes before my RX could be filled. We walked around... I filled the cart with all of the above crap... Travis sat in the actual cart playing his games. Ashley started to cry and make the "milk" sign.

I stopped at the entrance to the changing room area, and sat down to nurse Ashley on one of their red plastic ottoman thingies. I took the "bucket" off of the cart... and unbuckled her. She fussed, nursed, fussed. After about 10 minutes, I finally put her back in the car seat (and this is where I went wrong) I put it on the plastic ottoman thingy while I got up from sitting. Travis was getting restless, and starting to stand up in the cart. I went over to the cart (like 5 step away) and got him to sit back down. Ashley was crying because she didn't want to be in the car seat... and must have pitched herself forward in the seat in the process, causing it and her, to fall about 2 feet - flat onto the carpeted floor.

I immediately righted the seat, and aside from some slight rug burn on her forehead, she was and is fine, just super-pissed-off. The fact that I always make sure the harness is fairly tight was a big contributor to her lack of movement in the seat, even while inverted.
We were immediately surrounded by no less than 10 Target employees (including the "lunching" pharm tech!) after the dressing room attendant called "Code Green!"
All the while I was just trying to get Ashley to nurse and calm down.

Once I evaluated her situation, I shoo'd them off, and declined to fill out an accident report. I mean, really? Document the fact that I totally effed up...and, what? Promise not to sue them?! Like my mistake was somehow their fault? Whatever.

Anyway, I called the Pediatric Group while I sat there... and they told me what to look out for...lethargy, change in demeanor, the usual stuff.

Then, I strapped her into the car seat again, so I could actually push the cart - and went to pick up my prescription.

Sigh. Not my proudest mommy moment, for certain. But I think I handled it with a calm demeanor. As calmly as I could, given the situation... and she is no worse for wear. I wish I could say the same for my frazzled nerves.

New Download!

2008-11-10T22:12:00.001-08:00

Ashley got a new download a couple of days ago. She is babbling a lot more, and spending small periods of time playing with toys by herself. She still flips out if I walk away from her... but progress is happening! She loves sweet potatoes! I think we will try something else next week. Perhaps avocado?

I went to get her out of the van tonight when we go to the grocery store. A soon as she saw me she started making her excited sound and then making the sign for milk rapidly. She's such a sweetie, when she isn't being a huge booger!

It's hard to believe she is 7.5 months old already. Time goes by all too fast.

Cheeser McGeezers!

2008-11-09T20:46:00.001-08:00

Cheeser McGeezers!, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Partay family!, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

All celebrated out...

2008-11-08T22:40:00.000-08:00

Make a Wish!, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Our 3rd and final birthday celebration for Travis was awesome! The Grandparents went all out for this one. They got Travis a Diego bike with training wheels. The Diego cake turned out really well, too. I was a bit nervous about whether the edible icing transfer would work out... but it did awesomely... and I am happy to say I did NOT spend 3+ hours hunched over a cake piping out 10,000 fucking buttercream stars like I did the previous 2 years. Woohoo!! Even worse was last year when I was very pregnant and did so without the benefit of many glasses of wine.

But, now? I am tired. I did get up too damned early this morning. Grandma and Daddy are taking care if story time right now. I think we are going to the Jelly Belly Factory for a tour tomorrow! Woohoo!! :)

Happy Birthday, Baby!

2008-11-07T11:45:00.000-08:00

Today, my sweet boy turned 4. Just like that... impossibly quickly. We had a good day. Well, except when his butterfly balloon sailed up into the sky. That resulted in many tears, and a very upset birthday boy. Between sobs he told me we needed to get a parachute to get it. His 4 year old logic, even in his time of despair made me smile inside, even as my heart broke for him. We solved the crisis with a few phone calls. Daddy brought a replacement butterfly balloon home after work with him, much to Travis' delight.

We went to dinner at Chili's and he enjoyed unwrapping his gifts and devoured his Lava Cake with such voracity, we were shocked, considering he hadn't seemed very hungry at dinner. We got him a Leapster set with the Wall-e game. He loves it! :)

I can't believe how fast my little man has grown right before our eyes. I want to do a collage with birth, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, & 4th birthday pictures. My backup drive is giving me issues right now, so that will have to wait until a later time.

Hapy 4th birthday to the sweet, trying little boy who first made me a mommy. I am far from perfect, but you remind me everyday that perfection is not necessary. Just trying your best, is perfect enough! :)

One for my homies...

2008-11-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

Crap... I missed a day of blogging yesterday. Awww... So much for NaBloPoMo. Oh, well...call it radio silence due to the election outcome! ;)

I swear I have a more active online life than offline. Between Blogger, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Flickr, Ravelry, Delicious, The Babywearer, Diaperswappers... I know far more people online than not. Maybe that is not a good thing... hmm?

My cell phone address book is comprised largely of family, then friends (which I admit, I don't have a lot of "IRL"...)

Strangely enough.. despite my online whoring around - I don't do so well in social situations. I either feel like I talk too much, or clam up completely. And, in groups of more than three, I am pretty much a deer caught in the headlights.

I am far better one on one... but finding that one, proves difficult at best. I need to find a BFF I don't have to moderate myself around, where I can be my snarky, cynical, non-PC self, rough around the edges with a proclivity towards adult language... Someone who is comfortable with me popping my boob out nonchalantly while sipping coffee, and not missing a beat in conversation. Someone who doesn't thnk I am a freaky weirdo for co-sleeping, wearing my kids until long after they can walk on their own, and nursing until we're damned good and ready to stop, and not a moment too soon. Someone who hopefully has at least one kid near one of mine's age. Someone who can compare birth stories, and bad mommy moments over sushi and wine, and the minutia of feminine hygiene products, and the fact that my baby hasn't crapped in 3 days. Someone who can dish on the latest celebrity gossip, but who still knows what's going on in the world.

Then I stop and think. Wait a minute. I do have one of those. Actually, far more than just one. Samantha, Nellie, Rachael, Anne, Leslie, Holli,Cara, the list goes on... Even though we don't live close enough to hang out... we share so much with each other long distance and through these "interwebz"... and have genuine interest and concern for each other and our families. I know if I am ever in Arizona, Utah, Rhode Island, Texas, Oklahoma, Maryland... I wouldn't ever dare pass through without looking each and every one of you awesome beotches up and having a glass (or three) of wine.

At least it's over now!

2008-11-04T22:53:00.000-08:00

Win some, lose some... I am just glad the campaigning is finally over. It was really beginning to get on my last damned nerve!

Open wide!!

2008-11-03T21:15:00.001-08:00

hmmm...., originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Ashley had her first taste of solids today... about a tablespoon of whole grain oatmeal mixed with breastmilk. She was really digging it, and took the spoon out of my hand to try and feed herself. Apparently, she didn't get the memo that she's only 7 month old!

Fall Back...

2008-11-02T21:51:00.001-08:00

My kids? They will be the death of me. Seriously. 7:00am waking, no nap having little urchins. Daylight savings can kiss my ass!

Besides that, we had a good day today. We went to the member's preview of the opening of the new Children's Museum. We had a nice lunch at the park... Picked some stuff up at Trader Joe's, and stopped by our storage to get the high chair and BOB Jogger for Ashley.

We were planning on giving the baby her first solids tonight... which has previously been delayed due to teething, and excessive crankinessm, and....
Well, she will have those sweet potatoes that are in the freezer another day (hopefully) this week.

Honestly? I don't really care. I am so not stressing on it. She is only a tiny bit over 15 pounds at barely 7 months... and breastmilk is the best thing for her. I did pick up some bulk hulled millet from Whole Paycheck to make into cereal for her...

The thing I am stressing on? Her insistence on standing. Already. Oh, and then letting go of her support... and repeatedly falling on her head. Thank goodness I caught her today as she launched herself backwards towards the tile floor. Yeah, let's try and avoid brain damage, ok, little girl?

That time of year...

2008-11-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

We had a great Halloween... Travis really enjoyed the trick-or-treating this year! We hung out with a friend and her 2 year old twin girls.

Also, although I didn't get a chance to post, the 30th was Jeff & my 11th wedding anniversary! :) We got take-out Chinese for dinner, and just played it low-key (being both a work-night, and trying to conserve the fundage...)

We did pick up a jumper for Ashley @ Toys*r*us... she likes it ok, for short periods of time. If only to keep her from trying to stand up, and falling on her head every time I turn around... Sigh.

So, we'll see if I am a NaBloPoMo drop-out this year... gonna try and make it this time! One post a day won't kill me, right?

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T13:00:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween!, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Love,

"Buzz Lightyear" and "World's Cutest Baby Girl"

Monday Morning Wake-up Call!

2008-10-27T10:33:00.001-07:00

The next logical step..., originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

As most know... The Girl Child has two speeds. Fast and even faster. As evidenced by her rapid entrance into the world... and everything else. She's in a hurry. She rolled over at around 6 weeks. From back to front, which is apparently more difficult than from back to front. She clearly has an agenda: stuff to do... adoring public to meet.

Ashley has only been crawling for 2 weeks. Months ahead of her older brother, who crawled at around 10-11 months.

In that two week's time, she has cut her first tooth, and is working on another. She can go from crawling to a sitting position (briefly) and she is now pulling herself up to standing on anything that's available... I fully expect her to be taking her first steps well before Thanksgiving, when she will be at the ripe old age of 8 months.

As we already knew, this one is certainly a force to be reckoned with!

I.....

2008-10-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

I found this meme on Whimsy Love

I am: A "good enough" mother, wife, person. Most certainly, still a work in progress...
I think: I am ready for this damned election to be over with...
I know: I deserve to be happy.
I have: Two beautiful children
I wish: There were more hours in the day, and during those hours I had my hands free...
I hate: My jiggly bits, poor spelling and grammar, hominy, and capers.
I miss: Alone time
I fear: Something happening to my kids
I hear: my iPod on shuffle
I smell: Gingerbread Waffles from earlier
I crave: Really good chocolate, and the time and ability to actually knit
I search: for my keys, shoes, wallet... constantly
I wonder: Where Ashley's other Robeez ever ended up?
I regret: Large parts of my childhood, and not traveling more before having kids.
I love: My family
I ache: Because I have two kids, and need to see the chiropractor!
I am not: Perfect. Or, even remotely close...
I believe: I am loved very much.
I dance: With my kids, but need to do it more often.
I sing: Often
I cry: Occasionally...but when I do, I really let it out
I fight: Mostly internal battles
I win: Small victories each day
I lose: My keys, cell phone, I am constantly losing something!
I never: Exercise... and I need to start!
I always: Buckle my seat belt, buy REAL butter, get lost while driving...
I confuse: Just about everyone, I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma! ;)
I listen: to music, to my baby breathing, for things that go bump in the night
I can usually be found: With the laptop, holding my baby girl... oh, and barefoot.
I am scared: Of failing my kids as a mother.
I need: A vacation!
I am happy about: Our new home!
I imagine: The glorious day when Travis is in school for many hours per day!

Hard at work, on her Christmas list...

2008-10-22T13:58:00.001-07:00

Hard at work, on her Christmas list..., originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

We just got our mail key delivered today. All of the mailboxes for our block are together at the end of the street. The previous owners had a bunch of their mail in our mailbox...and Ashley enjoyed perusing and subsequently shredding the American Girl catalog. Good thing, cause I am NOT paying $100 bucks for A DOLL, and $30/ per EACH doll outfit, kiddo. That's what you have Grandparents for...

Fall Festival

2008-10-18T19:32:00.001-07:00

At the Fall Festival, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

We spent the afternoon at the Fall Festival in Carmel Valley. It was enjoyable...and the kids both had a great time. There was a corn maze, pumpkin stacking contest, hay ride, and more. Plus, it was mostly free! The pumpkins were like $3.00 for both, and the hay ride was $2.00 per person. We had Starbucks this morning (my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the fall season!) We also went to a Mexican bakery near our neighborhood this morning and got some yummy pastries. After the festival, we went to our favorite market/deli in downtown Carmel and got sandwiches, which we ate at a park.

We had a great fall Saturday! :)

Troublemaker!

2008-10-16T22:35:00.001-07:00

Serious (vivid), originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

"...Trouble in perpetual motion, Trouble with a capital 'T' "

~J. Croce

She's off! Stealing toys, causing mischief, enjoying her new found ability to move around.... I have my work cut out for me with this one....good thing she's cute! ;)

On the Move!

2008-10-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

Holy Sheet!! My little baby girl is crawling!! Well, a combo of commando, and yoga moves which propel her in any direction. It's far from precise... but she has 100% more mobility than just two days ago. At 6 months and 1 week old, it's also a good 5 months before her big brother had similar skills as a babe.

The unfortunate thing... she tries to stand up in a "downward facing dog" position, and inevitably flips herself over in the process, bumping her head on the floor. Although we have area rugs, the underlying floor in the family room is tile... sooo... ouch!! Of course, the only thing that consoles her is her beloved boobie. ahhh... It's gonna be a fun time when she finds the staircase! Yikes!

Days go By....

2008-10-07T10:11:00.001-07:00

Morning! , originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

It's going too fast... my babies are growing bigger each day. Ashley turned 6 months old yesterday. She also got her first tooth. Travis will be in a few weeks. It's crazy how quickly it goes.

.....Aaand exhale!

2008-10-04T13:06:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a week in the new house...Yes, I am still alive... we're slowly settling in...adjusting to the sheer amount of SPACE, and in general, we are already really much less stressed. Or, at least I am... We are, of course, still trying to sort through the wreckage...err, boxes, etc. More update soon...

Second Child Syndrome...

2008-09-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

Poor Ashley... she's definitely our second kid. Not only is it never quiet around here...in-utero she was treated to the soothing sounds of me constantly yelling at her brother.

"Travis, be careful" "Travis stop that!" "Travis listen to me!" "TRAVIS! TIME! OUT!!!"

By contrast, Travis luxuriated in the gestational soundtrack of classical music and calming voices since I worked in a medical office the entire time I was pregnant with him.

Beyond that, it occurred to me that gotten very few new toys.

She's got Travis' old "Giggle Ball" aka "Baby Anvil 2000" and various jingly/dangly toys for her play gym (which was also T's) and some stuffed rattle things.

In the last few days we have handed Ashley the following "non-toy" things to play with (while supervised, of course):

A plastic hanger (which she played with for about 15 minutes laying on our bed while we started packing the master bedroom)

A Seal CD (out of the case) (no sharp edges, shiny, lightweight, rainbow-y)

Just now as I was typing this entry, an Altoids gum tin (still wrapped in its packaging) she happily shook it, and whacked it on the desk, making all kinds of joyful noise. Good times! :)

Paper towels & their empty rolls
One of Ashley's favorite things to do when we are eating is to wave a crumpled paper towel around, and smack it everywhere. We let her keep it until she tries to eat it.

As much as all of the above are highly entertaining, when I am next at Target, I'll most likely find something new for her to play with... but pretty much anything there is made-in-China crappy plastic. Ugh.

Crunch Time!

2008-09-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to jinx it... but now that the loan has been funded, I feel sooo much better!! :)

Monday we get the keys to our new home!! Our first house. I still can hardly believe it. I think I am in still in a state of shock. This is it!!

Throughout the escrow process, I kept waiting for the rug to be yanked out from beneath us. But, it never happened. Instead everything went through without much more than a couple of very minor bumps.

We have purchased appliances. Swatched and bought paint and painting supplies. We've scheduled utilities to commence. Next weekend we have painting to do. Next Saturday cable and internet are being hooked up, doors will be re-keyed. Appliances will delivered and installed, the alarm monitoring activated. Holycrap!!!

So this weekend will be a flurry of packing, donating, tossing, and it's getting so close... exciting and terrifying all at once. There is still so much to be done... so much to buy, so much of everything... not to mention the completion of my root canal next Thursday. Gah! I am trying to keep from flipping out.

Gone, but not forgotten...

2008-09-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

New York, New York, Brooklyn Bridge by Henri Silberman

We have this photograph framed in our living room... I see it every day. It is a constant reminder of the fact that those two buildings no longer exist. It is also a reminder that 2,974 innocent people lost their lives that day, on September 11, 2001.

I can't help but feel angered that 7 years later, those two towers are STILL absent from the New York skyline.

We were promised rebuilding... "bigger and better". But, when? Whose design? It would be great if they could just rebuild them, just as they were, adding an extra floor onto each for good measure.

If your HOME were to be burned down, you'd rebuild, just the same right? If you got into a car wreck, and your car was totaled, you would replace your car, providing the insurance paid for it?

For the life of me, I cannot understand what the hold-up is on the rebuilding of the Twin Towers. The dust has long settled. The rubble has been cleared. The wounds are healing... Quite simply, it has been long enough. The craters have been there for nearly a decade!

Of course, it isn't that easy... I can only imagine all the red tape involved in such an undertaking. But we can only hope by this time in 2011 that the skyline of New York is restored to its previous grandeur.

Animal Style!!

2008-09-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

Ashley thinks we should forgo the typical pureed veggie/rice cereal first foods for In-N-Out Burger! She totally tried to jack my Double Double, Animal Style. Ummm, no - Gummy Bear! :)
But I DO think she will be ready to eat solids pretty soon!!

Growing up fast!

2008-09-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

I realize it's been a veeery long while since I updated/bragged about Travis. It's much easier to get lost in the day to day obnoxious stuff, and focus on that instead of the good stuff.

Travis is a smart kiddo. He just acts like a jackass sometimes. But, he IS only 3. Well 4 in two months, but still. I need to remember to be more patient with him on a daily basis. It's just when he willfully ignores me, it drives me effing bonkers!

Anyway... he knows his alphabet, and his letters by sight. He can count to 20 in English, and 10 in Spanish. He knows his colors, and shapes, including trapezoid, octagon, oval and rectangle.

He sings songs, by memory, even without musical accompaniment. This kid has a real ear for music. I'd be surprised if he didn't play an instrument later in life.

He knows all of our names, first and last, and my cell number (sung to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle").

He can tell a tapir from a pygmy marmoset, from a 3-toed sloth. He can identify a spectacle bear, red eyed tree frog, and a maned wolf.(Thanks Diego!)

He knows who the president is currently, and knows John McCain, and Barack Obama when he sees them on t.v. He knows the California Flag, "America's Flag" and our city flag by sight. he knows we live in ____, California.

I get a spontaneous "I love you mommy!" throughout the day. <3

He's an amazing big brother to his baby sister. Every morning he greets her with kisses and hugs. He gives her toys, turns on the music on the bouncer for her, lets me know when she spits up while I am driving.

Everyday, I am amazed. My baby boy... now getting all grown up.... soon to be starting school. It's insane! We actually have long conversations... conversations where he "gets" everything I am saying.

The same boy I worried had delayed speech didn't crawl til 11 months, and didn't walk until he was over a year old now never shuts up, and climbs to the top of the slide at the park.

Now, if we could just get him to stop crapping his pants, we'd be golden!

Perfect timing, huh?

2008-09-03T19:15:00.001-07:00

Root canal. Oh JOY! That's ok... We had too much $ anyway!! :b

Washable? Ha!

2008-08-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

Gah!!!! While I was unloading the dishwasher a few minutes ago, Travis came out. I cleaned up his room this morning, and he had been playing happily with his train set - or so I thought.

He came out, and his arms, face, and legs were teal. He happily exclaimed he drew with the marker! My heart sank, as I dried my hands, and followed him down the hallway. There was marker all over the TV in my room! Oh, and my bedroom door! How effing exciting!!!

So, I did what any bad mommy would do... I lost my shit... I yelled at him to find the goddamned marker. He swore he didn't know where it was. I turned the tv to the "blue screen" and told him no more tv until he found the marker.

I was able to wipe the tv off, no problem - with a baby wipe. The door? Motherfucker. I cannot get it cleaned off. Not with babywipes, or rubbing alcohol... or even spray-on sunblock (a remedy I found online). So, I am going to get a Mr. Clean Eraser and hope for the best.

Of course, this happens just a few days before we give our notice, too. Loooovely!!

Dear Crayola:

I bought your so-called "Washable" Markers for this very reason. Kids draw on things. Things that are NOT. PAPER. I tried your stain-removal remedies, and then some.

Teal AKA Azul Verdoso AKA Bleu Sarcelle is still on my damn door.

I have just one thing to say....

Fuck You! Andate a la mierda! Vas te Faire Foutre!

XOXO

~TJsMommy

Home Sweet Home?

2008-08-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

I've been absent... not for lack of things to write about... but by not wanting to jinx things.

We found a house, and are in escrow. Perhaps I should call it "an escrow-ish state" - because we still need some documents... like the signed contract from the seller (in this case a large bank...) *cough* countrywidebofa/omgwtfbbq!

There has been both an inspection and appraisal... the inspection went very well. The house is in faneffingfabulous condition. The appraisal... it went -ish. The appraiser was apparently concerned that we were paying over list price - Hi, ever heard of multiple offers? He was also voicing speculation that the price we were paying was a considerable amount more than other recently closed homes in the area.

Yeah, about that... a lot if not most of those homes had Issues. Wall to wall gawdawful technicolor trashed carpeting, holes in the walls, generally run-down, non-permitted additions, you name it! We saw scads of houses that would have required need tens of thousands of dollars in repairs/upgrades. Some of which we walked into and literally turned RIGHT around and walked out. And even with their glaring flaws, they were listed the same or more than the home we put the offer on. Which really only needs appliances, window coverings and a tiny bit of painting (the room Jeff would use for his home office is eye-searingly bright-ass Disney paint... aqua? So, yeah... needs to be repainted. A bit of touch-up paint in the living room... and we're good to go.

But, we are waiting in an almost/but not quite there.... stuck in a holding pattern. I have this uneasy feeling I can't shake. The not knowing makes me crazy. The feeling that the rug could be yanked right out from under us at any moment.... sigh. Crossing fingers...

So, barring any craziness, we *should* be closing on the 19th of September. Wish us luck...

Wordless Wednesday...

2008-08-13T08:10:00.001-07:00

Looove!!!, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

31

2008-08-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

Well, I turned 31 today. 31. It seems like that is impossible... wasn't I just 21 a few short years ago? Yeah, try 10 not-so-short ones. How did the time start going by so fast? Well, 31 feels just like 30.... except...on my last birthday, I was pregnant with Ashley - just barely, though. Just 5-ish weeks... cells, rapidly forming...and now, she's here... this chunky monkey 4 month old bundle of sweetness. And, don't even get me started on how big Travis has gotten in the last year. He's taller, cuter, smarter, more challenging than ever before.

I am a mother of two children. A wife of 11 years.
We're in the process of looking for a house to buy... our first home.
We pay our bills, our taxes...vote...
I drive a minivan for eff's sake!
For all intents, and purposes, a full-fledged responsible adult.

Some days, I'd give anything to be 20 again, with far less responsibility... less money, less stuff, less thought as to what goes on in the world.

It would be nice to visit, 20 - sure... but I am certain I'd want to come back to 31.

31, where this morning I was greeted with a cheerful "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" by the cutest little boy ever. The little boy who will be 4 in a few months - and at this time next year, rounding 5.

Also, this morning I was greeted by demands for milk by the cutest chubbable little baby girl. Who, at this time next year, will be over a year old.

It's amazing how a year changes nothing, yet everything, all at once.

Got Milk?

2008-08-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

Minutes ago, Travis emerged from his room, where he had been playing quietly for a few minutes. I figured he'd come out to tell me he went poop, or something.... as that's usually where he prefers to go. However, this time, he cheerfully thrust a lidded-sippycup (Diego take-n-toss) into my hand.

"This milk smells gwoss" he said.
I took one look at the curdled contents, and gagged.

"Travis, did you drink this?" I asked him... realizing that it was from yesterday.

I normally do not allow any liquids outside of the living/dining room... but yesterday he'd requested a refill after lunch... the rest of the milk in the carton. So, I brought it into his room and told him to drink it before we left the house. Then, I changed the baby. And washed my hands, and probably answered the phone, and nursed the baby...and forgot it was in his room.

He made a face, as I poured the clumpy contents into the sink, carefully avoiding our sponges.

"Yeah" He said. And then quickly "No, I can't like that milk"

Oh, crap... I thought. He DID! Or, then again, maybe he didn't. He's usually good about asking about contents before drinking. "Is that clean?" He'll ask.

So, I really have NO clue whether he did. I gave him a glass of ice water... and am hoping for the best.

In other milk-related news... little Miss Ashley has been going through a SERIOUS growth spurt this week. I literally cannot nurse her enough. Yesterday, she nursed for probably 40 minutes out of every hour. My nipples are cracking, and sore. I can't tell if it's comfort-sucking, or nutritional, probably both. I am really hoping she's getting enough. I got a tincture at Pharmaca today, so hopefully, that will help increase my supply. Wish us luck!

Move along, Nothing to see here...

2008-07-23T23:05:00.000-07:00

1 tantruming, screaming, freaking out 3 1/2 year old not wanting his teeth brushed plus 1 open bathroom window = 3 cops knocking on our front door at 11:00pm. Scared the crap outta me, I will tell you! Jeff and Travis were reading bedtime stories in T's room when they got here. After a brief look around, they were sufficiently satisfied that we were not, in fact killing our offspring, and went on their merry way.

I could hear them chuckling as they left.

Jeezus.

Small Town Girl

2008-07-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before... but I've lived within the same 30-mile span of California my entire life. From the age of 2 until I was about 9 years old, was spent inhabiting a grand total of 3 houses, and 1 apartment. All of which were located a scant mile or so apart.

Today, I live within a stone's throw of the park I used to play at all the time... and now my own child plays at the same. The obstetrician who helped birth my children into the world (well, one of them anyway, LOL!) also delivered my younger brother. Up until the last few months, the pediatrician we used was my own growing up.

It's both eerie, yet strangely comforting. I drove by my old elementary school, and past my Kindergarten classroom today. I drove by two of my old houses, one located down the cul-de-sac where I learned to ride a bike. I can recall the day we moved into that house. I was perhaps 7 years old then. Now that house looks a lot different, overgrown by ivy, and the years have not been kind. Now I've got my own kids sleeping in the backseat of the minivan while I take a trip down memory lane.

I've always kind of envied people who have lived all over the world. But in reality, I'm a homebody - happy with the memories, both good and bittersweet, that have been cultivated right here on this Peninsula. There really is no place like home.

i can has cheezeburger?

2008-07-16T16:11:00.001-07:00

Created by OnePlusYou

3 month girl

2008-07-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

Ashley had her 3 month check-up/shots today. She's tall 24 3/4 inches long, and petite... 12 lbs, 5 oz. Some of her 0-3 month pants are still too big in the waist for her to wear yet.

Travis, by contrast was 15 lbs, 9 oz, and 26 inches long at 3 months. But, he also started out almost an entire pound bigger than she was at birth.

Anyway, she's a peanut, despite the fact that she eats ALL the time. She had two shots today, Prevnar (for pneumonia), and HIB. Our new Doc follows Dr. Sears' Alternative Vaccination Schedule. In a nutshell, fewer vaccines at one tome, only 1 "live" vaccine at a time, mercury-free, and as few combo-vaccines as possible.

So, basically, that was the extent of her appointment, since we didn't have a physical this time. Next month she will, though.

We officially cannot put her down on the floor without her flipping over on her stomach, and getting stuck "reverse turtle" style. She still has not figured out how to get from her stomach to her back. Poor thing gets so frustrated... She's also trying to flip herself out of her swing or the bouncer... she's buckled in of course!

One of my friends generously offered us their Exersaucer after I mentioned I was going to go to the resale shop to look for one. So woohoo! It's been through a few kids, and doesn't have all the bells and whistles of the newer ones, but I am more than happy to borrow it, and pass it along after we are through with it. SO, I think next week, I will arrange pick-up of it.

Anyway, my dad is here... so I will check in soon...

Dilly-yo!

2008-07-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

I love the local resale kid's store... every once in awhile I just score some real gems. And, for CHEAP! I got Ashley a pair of Cade & Co. soft shoes, barely worn for $5.00. They are really cute, too. I am soooo tired of losing socks, and these fit her perfectly. They retail for $38.00 and these are nearly-new! Also, a Gymboree Hawaiian shirt in Travis' size, like he used to have when he was a baby. $3.00. And, also closet dividers that I bought before on Onestepahead.com for $8.00new in the package for a buck! So, under $10.00 total - how much does that rawk?!

Ahhh...

2008-07-09T20:20:00.000-07:00

Overheard just now... while the Gypsy Kings plays in the background.

Jeff to Travis:

"Hey! No dancing while you're in time-out - it's like 'Footloose'."

ROFLMAO.

Rollin' Over!

2008-07-07T18:16:00.001-07:00

Ashley just rolled over from her back to her tummy while playing in her play Gym. Twice in a row. She JUST turned 3 months old, people! I think this is at least a few months before Travis did. She's also kicking her legs and trying to propel herself already. That's our crazy sweet girl!

Le Weekend...

2008-07-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

We had nice weekend... I have always loved the 4th of July. We went to the parade in downtown with my dad, and ended up meeting up with Jeff's Grandma, and his Uncle Ron who was visiting from LA. Then, we went to Mexican for lunch with my dad. We came back home, and cleaned up bit. My bathroom needed mopping, and deep-cleaning before it was suitable for company-viewing.

Around 5:00, our friends James & Michelle came over. We had beers and visited. Then, Jeff's Grandma and Uncle Ron came over. We all hung out together for awhile, and then James & Mish left for a BBQ. The rest of us went to dinner at a little restaurant down the street. It was okay...not my first choice, but Jeff's Grandma picked - and paid - so can't complain too much.

We walked down to the beach to watch the fireworks, which, just like every year, were awesome. Even Ashley watched them without crying. Then we all came back home and waited for the traffic to clear out so Jeff's Grandma & Uncle could drive back to Marina.

Then we stayed up for a bit, and finally went to be at around 1:00am.

Saturday we got up, and left for donuts and coffee, and took a drive to Salinas to look at houses. we drove around, and looked at neighborhoods, and specific houses that are on our list. We are strongly considering the possibility of buying a house there, because the prices have come way down in the last year - year and a half. Like, houses that were $600k 2-3 years ago, are on the market for the low to mid $300k range. Newer 4 bedroom houses... not old, falling apart houses like we'd get here for more $$. And, we really need the tax benefits of owning. With Jeff being self-employed, we are getting killed each year with taxes. So, we're going to try and swing it.

Yesterday, we went out to Denny's with my dad, and went to San Jose. The boys went to Raging Waters, and Ashley and I went to the mall. I got slightly turned around on my way to pic the guys up at Raging Waters, so Jeff had to talk me through directions on re-orienting myself. I swear, I get lost all the time. Then we dropped my dad off. Travis was knocked out for the night... so we watched The Departed and the first new episode of Weeds.

Anyway... that be it... I really hope we can make this house thing work.... the lender guy thinks we will get pre-approved no problem, so crossing fingers... I am addicted to Zillow.com right now... it's like crack for house-hunters.

Quickie update...

2008-06-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

Currently, Ashley is laying on the Play Gym swatting at the toys - kicking, and wiggling around. She is trying her damnedest to roll over. Did I mention... she is 3 months old today? Travis didn't roll over til her was 8 months old... but his noggin was so big... can't say I don't understand why.

Anyway... I am dealing with a raging headache... Big Sure Fires are causing grey, sunless days, full of smoky air, and ashes are falling from the sky. So, I am sure breathing in all that crap is contributing to feeling like ick. Ashley is sneezing and coughing... Travis is having a tough time breathing without sniffling, and my eyes itch, too. Lovely, no?

Anyway... need to pick up the Girl... she is expressing her unhappiness at being on the floor.

Potty time!

2008-06-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! The Boy is actually napping!! I was able to get a short nap in, myself. 30 minutes, enough to feel refreshed-ish. It was cut short by my cell phone ringing, but what are ya gonna do?

We ran out of diapers for Travis this morning. I am debating not buying any more. We have a bunch of Pull-ups and Easy-ups. I really want Travis to use the potty. He is really not into it. I mean, he would sit in there and read books before, and he's even peed in there a few times.

Lately, though, whenever it's mentioned that he go sit on the potty, he freaks out.

He screams, cries, and flat-out refuses. "I CAN'T sit on the potty! I need to change my diaper!"

Sooo... we've taken to pointing out which of his friends use the potty (nearly all of them, on at least a part-time basis) - including one friend who just turned 3.

While we were at the park today, said friend used the potty 3 times. He (and his mom) were really good sports, and allowed Travis to go into the stall with him while he sat. Travis was a great cheerleader...

"Yeah! You did it!" With high-fives, and enthusiasm abounding. Afterward, Travis said he would use the potty "soon" too. But, when we got home, Travis pooped, without warning in his diaper. I put him in a Pull-Up, he whined, "No Pull-ups, I need a diaper. No potty!" I told him we didn't have any diapers, and he needed to wear a Pull-up. The kid tried to take it off. I told him if he took it off he had to go sit on the potty. He didn't listen, and I had to threaten a time-out if he didn't leave it on.

I made him a sticker chart, like we had when he started to sleep in his bed. I found some Go Diego, Go! clip art, and made him a custom Potty Chart, with his name on it, and everything. You think it was greeted with enthusiasm as I taped it to his bedroom door yesterday morning? Ha!

Sigh. So, I'm thinking of going the training underwear route. During the day, when we're at home, at least. All or nothing? Maybe that's what it's going to take with this kid.

Ironically, in the typing of this blog, Ashley had the biggest diaper blowout to date... necessitating a full outfit change (for her) and half a package of wipes to clean up the resulting mess. So, yeah. It's time, people... it's time!

In Good Hands...

2008-06-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

Yay for Friday!! Travis passed out on the couch about 20 minutes ago, so - again, yay!!

I took Ashley in for her weight check... she's 11 pounds, 6 oz. Exactly a pound bigger than she was 3 weeks ago at her check-up. So, my worrying after my highly scientific method of weighing her at home showed she had gained NO weight(standing on the digital scale, and then again while holding her, and noting the difference) was all for nothing.

My trip yesterday to the cardiologist was informative, to say the very least. My bp was still elevated. 140/110. That is on my medication, too... but also after a 1/2 Caf Peet's Latte. Sigh.

Apparently, the fact that I was told to suddenly stop taking my Labetalol while in the hospital after I had Ashley was a big, big no-no.

Mr. Heart Doc said that can cause vasoconstriction, and a heart attack. Lovely, no? Just the thing a new mommy needs, right? A medically-ordered heart attack. So, in the future, if I need to stop taking it, the dosage has to be gradually tapered off over a period of two weeks.

Anyway, my dosage was upped from 200 mg twice daily, to 200mg in the morning, and 300 mg at night. He told me we're almost there with the dosage, and if we can get into the range of 130 or lower, he would be happy - of course lower is optimal.

I return to his office in 2 weeks for a re-evaluation, and an EKG to rule out the possibility of left ventricular hypertrophy (thickened heart muscle due to overuse). Fortunately, even if I do have LVH, once my BP gets into check, it would most likely resolve itself.

I am really glad I sought out a specialist, instead of just a General Practitioner. I feel like I am in capable hands, and that we will get this figured out.

Round-up

2008-06-11T08:39:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my lack of blog-age lately... Jeff's dad & step-mom were in from NH Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning. We had a nice visit... eating great food (I gained 2 pounds!) and playing tourist in our own town. We went to the Aquarium, did 17 Mile Drive, and generally just hung out. They brought so many gifts for the kiddos... Travis is in Diego heaven. They brought clothes for the baby and Travis,(yay, bigger sizes for later!) books, etc.

We were sad to see them leave, wishing they lived closer, like Los Angeles vs. East Coast... one of these days we'll make the trip out there.

Saturday we went grocery shopping, and had dinner at Jeff's Grandma's. On Sunday afternoon, we went to Jeff's business partner's house to help break in their new margarita machine and barbecue. They have a little boy around Travis' age, and they had a great time, laying with the hose, and toys, and generally being hooligans.

Ashley is still being a big old cranky-pants. Her fussing seems to be getting better & worse... it's spread out more throughout the day, and less crazy most nights.

I am still getting nothing done.... occasionally the dishwasher gets emptied, and I am managing dinner most nights, but that is abut the extent on my domestic abilities at the moment.

I can't knit one-handed... but I did manage to post-process and crop a good amount of photos to have printed.

Travis continues to amaze me daily. His vocabulary astounds me at times... as well as his ability to put together 6-8 word sentences. And, he is stringing thoughts together. He has an opinion about everything... just now when I put on a Tivod episode of Little Einsteins he said: "I can't like that show either! I just watched it earlier! I can't watch THAT! I want to watch Super Why!"

Um, ok.

He knows he shapes, colors, numbers, and letters. He sings songs, from Justin Timberlake to The Wiggles. He loves all music. He LOVES the Gypsy Kings.

"The Gypsy Kings are singing in SPANISH!" "Diego speaks SPANISH too!"

He'll say "Hola, Mommy!" and can count to 10 in Spanish. He says "Gracias" to the ladies at Chipotle, and I really am glad he's picking up the language. We just got the Rosetta Stone software (from only slightly less than legal means) - and I really want to learn as well.

My little man is getting so big. He's socially engaging, empathetic toward others, and overall very sweet. Don't get me wrong, he drives me bonkers a lot of the time (daily) but, I know a lot of it is because he's bored here. He wants social interaction, challenges, etc.

Beginning next week, I really plan on focusing a lot more on the potty issue. I really want him to be able to start a pre-school program in the fall... and he has to be using the potty before then.

So, that's about it. Oh, I am taking Ashley to the doctor for a weight check today. Also, I have an appointment tomorrow with a cardiologist to check me out. My blood pressure went back up after I had Ashley, so we need to look into things. I am hoping to change meds, to something even less-likely to enter my breastmilk.

Also, tomorrow, some of the moms from our Parent's Place class are hosting a belated "Baby Sprinkle" Brunch for Ashley & me. That should be nice... thinking back, we never had any sort of shower for Travis. Anyway... I will try and be better about the updates.

One last thing. I baked these Oatmeal-Raisin bars last night and they kick ass. If you like Oatmeal Raisin cookies, these are right up your alley. I may or may not have had one or two for breakfast this morning with a glass of milk.

Fuming....

2008-06-03T14:53:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this by saying that I do not normally personally involve myself in how others choose to parent their kids. Yes, I may utter snarky comments to my husband while in Costco about people being "bad parents" for letting their 2 year old jump up and down in the cart... or when we are out and I see people giving their toddler ICE to suck on... or soda... or when we're at the park and kids are running around BAREFOOT and crap - wtf?

There's this short little show on Playhouse Disney... we always kind of roll our eyes and snark about... Lou & Lou Safety Patrol. These two know-it-all kids are always up in everyone's business about "Safety Violations."

But, today, I had to get a bit involved. I had just finished doing a Target/Starbucks run with the kiddos... and was getting Travis buckled in. Then, I put Ashley in. While I was doing that, Travis un-clicked his chest buckle. Thankfully, he can't un-do the rest of his harness himself. I chewed him out for it, and made him buckle it back up. Then, I re-opened his door to double-check that he was secure.

I got in myself, and put my seatbelt on. Then, I started the engine, and was scrolling through my iPod.

Directly across from me, a couple was parked with their windows down. They had a little boy in the back seat, who looked younger than Travis. He was clearly not buckled in. He was leaning way forward, and was rocking the booster seat forward with his weight.

Then the dad started the car, and the parent's seat belts auto-engaged.
Thene dad started to back out of the space. I called out of open window to the van. "Excuse me!! Excuse me!!"

No response. I unbuckled, and stepped out of the van.

Louder: "Excuse me! Sir! Your child is not buckled!"

He stopped, and looked at me. I thought he perhaps didn't realize his kid was unbuckled. And that he was stopping to fix it. But then, he started shining me on...

"Thanks, but I'll take care of it in a minute."

I continued loudly: "It's illegal to drive that way, it's not safe!"

He resumed backing out of the space.

I realized he just was not going to fasten his child in...
I shouted after him:

"PLEASE! If you care about your child BUCKLE him UP!"

He drove off... and an older lady standing outside her car looked over at me, and shook her head sympathetically. I felt like I should have done something further... but they had no front plate on the car... so I couldn't even write down their license number to call in. I mean, short of following them (which I was NOT about to do with two little ones in the car) there was nothing else that I could have done. But, seriously - what the eff is wrong with people?

It's one thing to have no regard for your PERSONAL safety... but quite another to blatantly put your CHILD in danger.

I just hope next time that family gets into the car, they stop and think about the lunatic woman waving her arms at them and shouting in the Target parking lot, and actually do the PARENTAL thing, and take just a few seconds to take responsibility for the well-being of their child.

Meemee!

2008-06-03T11:12:00.003-07:00

The Game, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Flickr Mosaic meme

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.
(Click on picture for the answers)

The concept:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker).

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name

Toughing it out...

2008-05-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

I've been somewhat reluctant to blog lately... but I guess it needs to happen... I look back at the first three months of Travis' life... and it seemed to be an entirely different ballgame. We were sleep-deprived, sure... but everything else was like a complete 180 of what we're going through with Ashley. Travis was a happy, easy baby. Ashley is not. I could nurse Travis, and then put him in the swing, asleep, so I could go pee, or load the dishwasher... and he'd stay that way for a good hour or two. With Ashley, she flips out. She's a very light sleeper, and has to be ON me at ALL times. I spend a good part of each day on the couch, with her in the crook of my arm, one-handed on the laptop.

Travis would snuggle on Jeff's chest every night, asleep, while we watched television. Ashley screams and cries whenever I hand her over to daddy. I have just realized, that there are no pictures of Jeff holding Ashley besides at the hospital, and the ones his mom took over this past weekend. I took a shower Monday at the IL's.... and Ashley screamed the entire time while Jeff held her.

Every night she cries. And cries. And cries. It's getting to the point where I just try and block out the crying, and that is upsetting. I am not a "Cry it Out" kind of mom... and, yet, it seems like that's what we have to do at times with this one. I try and nurse, rock, hold, bounce... and they don't do any good. So, eventually, out of sheer frustration, she gets put in her swing to cry. I don't know what else to do.

I feel bad for even saying this... but I am not enjoying my baby girl very much right now. I told Jeff this last night during dinner. He agreed. "I don't have my girl yet." he said, a bit sadly.

I know this will pass... it will. And this will all be just a chapter in the book of our parenting experiences. We will get through... there is light at the end of the tunnel... right now, it just doesn't feel that way. And, that's the honest truth.

Getting bigger!

2008-05-19T23:37:00.001-07:00

Ashley & Mommy, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

Ashley turned 6 week old on Sunday! Time feels like it's moving way too fast. She is amazing, and sweet, and she's really beginning to "wake up" to the world.

I am sooo behind on picture editing... and printing. we still have NO pictures of Ashley printed out yet.... even though we bought frames weeks ago. I have been editing them on the laptop the last two evenings... so we can finally print them and get them out to family.

I am digging on Pioneer Woman's Actions for
Photoshop. It's making things as lot easier for me to do post-processing, since I only have 1 hand free most of the time!

First Love...

2008-05-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

My child... he has the memory of an elephant, I swear. Travis just said to me,

"Mary Ewisebef is coming over soon!"

I thought for a second. Mary Elizabeth is my mom's name. But, he doesn't know that.

Then it dawned on me. There was a little girl who lived downstairs from us. Her name was Mary Elizabeth, and she was about 4. Travis would go out on the balcony and they'd talk. Well, he'd babble when he was very young, and then they actually talked a bit later. She'd regale him with stories about school, and whatnot.

And one day, she drew him a picture. It's on our refrigerator. That day, a she wanted to share her peanut butter crackers with him. I told her he was too young for peanut butter, so we gave her some of our cookies instead. Travis STILL talks about that day. That was over 1 1/2 years ago.

And, she moved away more than a year ago... and he still thinks about her. Like today.

"Where'd Mary Ewisabef go?"

"Oh, honey... she had to move... she doesn't live here anymore."

I had to explain that she wasn't coming over today, or any other day because she and her family bought a house and moved away. His little face fell, and he just looked so sad. I just wanted to scoop him up and cover him with kisses.

Poor little man... it won't be the last time a cute little girl breaks his heart.

Menu Monday

2008-05-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Week of May 12-16 Menu

Monday:

Teriyaki Chicken (used bone-in breasts, just added about 15 minutes to the cook time)
I doubled the glaze - it's so good on top of the rice!

Jasmine Rice with Lemon & Peas (Relish! Recipe)

Steamed Sugar Snap Peas

Tuesday: Knit Night

Carnitas

Black Beans & Rice

Chips, Salsa & Guacamole

Wednesday:

Mini Meatloaves

Oven Roasted Multi-colored potatoes

Green Beans sauteed with Garlic

Thursday: Orange & Herb Marinated Pork Loin Chops(Relish! Recipe - From the freezer)

Basmati Rice Pilaf

Roasted Carrots, Pepper & Onions

Friday: Dinner out?

Yawn

2008-05-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

I was up entirely too early this morning with Little Miss Crankypants. I went back to sleep after Jeff left at 6-something , though... We just got up a little after 9:00. Travis had no nap yesterday, so he slept in. Yay!

Right now he is sitting on the potty with a book. He did pee on the potty on Saturday morning. He woke up dry, and i asked him if he wanted to try and go. He agreed, and after about 10 minutes of reading books, he peed! :)

I have my Postpartum check-up at 10:00am today. Hopefully everything healed well... and hopefully my blood pressure is okay. Last visit (2 weeks post-partum) my BP was still high. I had rushed to my appointment very, very late... so maybe that had something to do with it. He wanted me to go back on my bp meds... which after reading up online... I opted not to do. Alhough it's a generally safe medication, it transfers through breastmilk... and can cause low blood pressure, and apnea, especially in babies under 1 month old. so, if it's high today... I will resume taking it... reluctantly, but at least Ashley is over the 1 month mark now.

I guess we will see...

Done, like dinner...

2008-05-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Dinner.

Lately it's been a 4-letter-word around here... In light of the fact that I now have 2 kids... Holy crap!! I have 2 kids!! Also - the fact that one of them is a 4-week-old colicky mess in the evening....The name of the game is simplicity, shortcuts, and letting go. This means taking help from the store... and a more relaxed approach to things. No this isn't that "Semi-Homemade" crap.... it's real life. Anyone who knows me knows this: I love to cook! I KNOW how to cook, I just barely have the time right now. I still am using natural vs. additive-ridden, organic vs. pesticide-riddled, and I am just trying my best to keep things as balanced as I can.

Menu Monday week of May 5-9, 2008

Monday (Cinco de Mayo!)

Fish Soft Tacos (Tilapia) (Relish! Recipe)
Grilled on grill pan - Brush with Olive Oil, season with salt & pepper & grill. Squeeze lime juice on too & serve with Pepperjack Cheese
Guacamole (Trader Joes pre-made)
Chips
Refried Black Beans
Corn

Tuesday:

Thai Chicken Satay Skewers with Peanut Dipping Sauce (Relish! Recipe)
Sesame Sugar Snap Peas (Relish! Recipe)
Jasmine Rice (frozen, microwavable, from Trader Joes)

Wednesday:

Almond-Crusted Chicken (Relish! Recipe)
Garlic Mashed Potatoes (Packaged from Trader Joes)
Broccoli

Thursday:

Pasta

Friday: Dinner out with Dad

Also, the added challenge of trying to be as dairy-free (for me) as reasonably possible... I had an iced Soy Vanilla Latte the other day @ Starbucks... it wasn't half bad. Vanilla Rice Dream on my Kashi this morning. But, I absolutely had Cheddar cheese on my BBQ Beef sandwich yesterday, without apologies.

So, the next few weeks will probably continue to be a little tough as I/we continue our adjustment. I realized yesterday that we're still trying to run on 1 kid time. Thinking it will still only take an hour to go to the grocery stores... when in reality, it now takes easily twice that... when you factor in the baby needing to be nursed, changed, etc. Getting 2 changed, clean, dressed, and out the door, into the car... We're figuring this out... cause we're adaptable like that!

Love!

2008-05-03T09:27:00.001-07:00

ashley smile, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

She is so sweet!! Can't believe she'll be a month old tomorrow!!

The "C" word...

2008-05-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

Ashley is doing well. She's really a laid-back, chill, happy baby. All day long, she snuggles, nurses, hangs out in the sling, or in my arms,and generally doesn't complain about anything. Each night, however - right around 8:00pm like clockwork, it's like she turns into a completely different baby. Crying, sobbing, freaking out, lower lip quivering, truly heartbreaking stuff. Like she's in pain. Seriously, I have been in tears myself the last couple of nights.

Nothing reliably helps... not rocking, swinging, swaddling, nursing, shushing, burping, bouncing, driving in the car, nothing. But for nearly 2 weeks, for 2-3 hours a night, I spend them alternating nearly every one of the above for the entire duration of her freak-out. Then, suddenly, as quickly as it started, it's over. By then, I am an emotional wreck. Last night I bounced with her on the yoga ball for almost 2 hours. Her total cry-time clocked in at right around 3 hours. We've tried the Hylands Colic tablets, and they work somtimes. I did buy some Baby Bliss Gripe water at Whole Paycheck today... so i guess we'll try that tonight.

I also talked to a La Leche League leader today... she recommended that I eliminate dairy and see what happens. It's going to be hard, because I've always had a lot of milk and cheese in my diet. Also, dairy takes 3 weeks to work it's way out of your system completely. I bought some digestive tea, at the suggestion of an herbalist/supplement specialist, and she also suggested a digestive enzyme. These things certainly can't hurt... but I sure hope something helps, and soon!

One word meme

2008-04-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

I took this idea from Allie... thanks for giving me an idea for a post today! :)

YOU CAN ONLY TYPE ONE WORD! Not as easy as you might think. Now copy or forward,change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? MIA
2. Your significant other? working
3 Your hair? unwashed
4. Your mother? nutty
5. Your father? goofy
6. Your favorite thing? sleep
7. Your dream last night? huh?
8. Your favorite drink? wine
9. Your dream/goal? Skinnier
10. The room you're in? messy
11. Your hobby? yarn
12. Your fear? failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? richer
14. Where were you last night? Peet's
15. What you're not? patient
16. Muffins? Banana
17. One of your wish list items? Maid
18. Where you grew up? Here
19. The last thing you did? nurse
20. What are you wearing? comfies
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? none
23. Your computer? toddler
24. Your life? content
25. Your mood? overwhelmed
26. Missing someone? Samantha
27. Your car? dirty
28. Something you're not wearing? shoes
29. Favorite store? Sephora
30. Your summer? ? Busy
31. Like someone? kiddos
32. Your favorite color? girly
33. When is the last time you laughed? daily
34. Last time you cried? recently

ADD ABCs

2008-04-22T13:20:00.001-07:00

ADD ABCs
Originally uploaded by tjsmommabear

Travis racing through the ABC song, effectively missing half of them. Then, at my prompting he sang it again, managing to get most of them! :)

(I have a doozy of a headache... promise I don't usually sound as grouchy as I did on the video!)

Two weeks down!

2008-04-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

I've been in a vortex... nursing Ashley, changing both kids' diapers, making food... trying to remember to eat enough myself, and drink enough water... occasionally even managing to make it out of the house, you know... adjusting. Trying my best to ignore the growing pile of laundry needing to be done... the toys strewn all over the living room... the magazines and general clutter needing to be dealt with. Nothing a well-placed hour couldn't handle. But, I don't have a well-placed hour. I have mere minutes between what the baby needs, and what the Boy wants... and I must manage to do things like... ummm...go pee, and other important stuff like eat breakfast. So I guess the house-stuff; it will get done, just not right now. i'm lucky if I can remember to run the dishwasher in the mornings(pre-loaded by Jeff late-night after dinner.)

So, yeah... doing well, yet still trying to get back into the swing of day-to-day household maintenance without going crazy in the process.

Update...

2008-04-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Baby Girl had her first pediatrician appointment Tuesday. She's 7 lbs, 10 1/2 oz. She was 7 lbs at birth, and only 6 lbs 12 oz when we were discharged from the hospital. So, that's almost a whole pound!! She's also grown 1/2 an inch in length, from 20 inches to 20.5 inches!

We also decided to switch to another doctor in the Pediatric group... even though Dr. B was my childhood doctor... he's nearing 80, and very set in his ways. The doc we're switching to came to the hospital and did Ashley's first exam. Dr. H is funny, and reminds me a bit of Andrew Weil. He mixes holistic remedies with traditional medicine. He told me to take Fish Oils (which I already do), and Acidopholus (which is always in our refrigerator), and Vitamin D3. Also, he's very pro-breastfeeding. He tells all of his patients to breastfeed 'til college! LOL! :) My kind of doctor! Dr. B seemed to think the benefits of breastfeeding wear off after a year, which CLEARLY isn't the case!

Also, Dr. H staggers the vax schedule, so the kids don't get so many at once. All in all, I feel like he's a better match...and nostalgia alone isn't a good enough reason to keep Dr. B as the kids' doctor.

Anyway,little Miss Ashley is thriving. She should be, considering she does almost nothing but nurse all day!

I'm starting to get used to this whole having 2 kids thing... and trying to keep everyone happy without going too crazy in the process.

I think I'm healing pretty well, although I am fairly sure I did something to my stitches the other day. Walking, sneezing, straining while going to the potty... something... I have an appointment Monday with my OB (his office had to reschedule me from yesterday due to a surprise delivery) so I will have him check and be sure everything is looking normal down there.

Travis is doing well with the transition... much better than we expected, actually.
Especially since we've been homebound for almost the last 2 weeks... the kid is holding up pretty well. We've watched a lot of Tivod shows lately, and he loves playing on the computer. Jeff set up this software for him called Peanut Butter which allows him to access his games, and websites without messing with the rest of our computer and settings. It definately rocks!

Well, my mom is coming in soon...which means I will be able to empty and reload the dishwasher. Wohoo! Also, need to go to Target for diapers (for both kiddos), Lansinoh for me), and wipes for Ashley. Oh, and a half-caf iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel sounds really good, too! :)

One week later...

2008-04-14T11:52:00.001-07:00

1 Week Old! 4/13/08, originally uploaded by tjsmommabear.

I promise to update with a real blog post soon... but I have not showered in 3 days, it is almost noon, and we are all still in our pajamas.

Travis is playing computer games, and I am just chilling with Ashley on the couch as she sleeps.

Also? My PSA for the day? Breastpads can be hazardous to your health. Or, at least your nipples. I removed one earlier that had cemented itself onto my left nipple. Oww! Um, like ripping off a band-aid or something. I think I took some skin off, cause, wow. Not too comfortable!

So I took the boob pads out for awhile, and let the flaps of my bra down inside my shirt so the "girls" could "air out" a bit. While I was editing this picture in PhotoShop I looked down, and realized I had started leaking milk everywhere. Lovely, no?

Like a rocket!

2008-04-07T16:31:00.000-07:00

After being sent home Saturday afternoon (again) I went home thoroughly convinced I would remain pregnant and contracting through the weekend.

Every time I would doze off, I got jolted awake by painful contractions. I got up around 1:00am, and headed out to the living room, to see if I could catch some rest in the recliner. I finally slept for 2 hours.
At around 3:00am Sunday morning. I was having contractions still at 5-7 minutes, like for the last week... but everything was focused in my low back and low pelvis. I waited, and waited, but couldn't get back to sleep.

I showered at around 5am, then since I had 3 contractions in 14 minutes in the shower, I called the hospital, and told them I was coming in. I woke Jeff up to tell him we were going to the hospital. I started crying, because I was so tired of being in pain and told him I just wanted it to be over.

We bundled a still-sleeping Travis up in a blanket, and got him in the van.

We drove to the hospital, and it was still dark outside. We arrived at around 5:45am.

I was given an exam, and there was no change from the previous day. 2 cm, 50% effaced... I was soo mad. The nurse said for me to wait and be monitored for an hour, and if there was no change, I had to go home again. I was so frustrated. And really, really tired from lack of sleep.

I was having crazy strong contractions... and they were 3-4 minutes apart... but the monitor was NOT picking them up. The nurse actually had Jeff write down when they were happening, and she would hold my stomach and feel for them.

I kept having to get up to pee... and she checked me at about 6:45 am. I was a 3. Woohoo! I was really happy, because it meant my doctor was going to be able to break my water, and I could stay!

Jeff had taken Travis to change out of his pjs, and into regular clothes, because he was going to take him over to Great-Grandma's house as soon as we got word that I was being admitted.

I kept wanting to get out of bed when a contraction would hit. I got up, and held onto my bed rail - and then wanted to go pee. I had 2 contractions in the bathroom. Then, all of a sudden, I felt the need to bear down.

I was coming back into my room, when another contraction hit.

I told the nurse I felt like I had to go poop. LOL! She flipped out and tried to get me back into bed. But I got hit with another contraction right away. I told Jeff to take Travis out of the room. They were already headed in that direction.... it was right around 7am.

Then, calamity broke loose. I started losing control. The pain was SOOO bad, and I absolutely couldn't stop bearing down. The nurse got on the com and started yelling for hands, a labor cart, gloves... they were not ready for what happened!! I basically went from 3 centimeters to complete, and the baby was OUT in a TOTAL of less than 15 minutes. I had 6 nurses in my room, scrambling around... and I delivered Ashley at 7:14 am yesterday morning, with no drugs, no IV, nothing. Just a flying baby! Luckily, it was right at shift change,so there were plenty of helping hands!

They had to get her breathing well, with some suction and a bit of oxygen because she was so "wet" from being born so fast she swallowed some amniotic fluid. But, she's perfect and healthy!

My OB made it in time to stitch me up (I had a 2nd degree tear) and to deliver the placenta. The first thing he said when he walked through the door, with a smile and a look of utter shock on his face was "Wow, you only have two speeds, don't you?!"

I thought Jeff went out to the waiting room, but he had taken Travis to his Grandma's.... He thought he would make it back in time... and he had already called his mom to come down from the Bay Area. Imagine the surprise when I called his cell only to tell him the baby was already here!

She's a little tiny thing... at least compared to Travis when he was born. She weighed 7 pounds even, and was 20 inches long. He was 7 lbs 14 oz and 23 inches long, So she by comparison is little tiny.

We're home now, and doing well. We had a lot of visitors at the hospital - my mom, Jeff's mom & Bob, his Grandma, James & Michelle... and it was really nice seeing everyone.

There was crappy cell reception, and no wi-fi... so sorry for the late update! :)

Come Out, Come Out, Little Drama Queen!

2008-04-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

Still no baby... not for lack of trying, I tell you. I have had contractions since late last night... and all morning. They started getting really uncomfortable and coming about 3-5 minutes apart for almost 2 hours this morning. I went into L&D after talking wiht my doctor.

They kept me for a long time... mostly because my doctor went in for some major emergency c-section surgery for a couple of hours. I was monitored, and checked... and although the contractions are still every 3-5 minutes, my cervix is thinned out a little tiny bit more, but not dilated anymore.

So, they won't do anything to induce me until I get to 3 cms. After that we can try breaking my water, and using a bit of Pitocin to try and make a regular productive pattern of things.

This is just SOOOO frustrating... and tiring. And, I am starting to feel disappointed in myself- which does no good, of course, but still... it's there.

So, at least I was able to get in a good nap today... we tried to walk a bit around Carmel, but I was really to uncomfortable to do much walking. I think the sleep did me better, anyway.

We'll wait some more... hoping for a marked change in duration, frequency, or for my water to just spontaneously break.

Thanks for all the positive vibes, and support... I know I will be able to hold my little princess in my arms really soon! :)

Throwing in the towel, for now...

2008-04-04T17:16:00.001-07:00

Still here. Still contracting. Still nothing progressive. Dammit.

This is the longest I've been pregnant, since I was induced 4 days before my edd with Travis.

Wish me labor vibes for this weekend, please?! :)

Still Pregnant... dammit.

2008-04-03T16:40:00.000-07:00

So, still here... no baby yet. Still 2 cms, 50% effaced. Still losing bits of icky pluggy stuff, and still having Prodromal Labor. My bp was 150/110 - but no protein in my urine, so good there. My doctor tried to strip my membranes, but apparently he couldn't reach them, due to the baby still being kind of high in my pelvis. He said 2nd kids don't usually engage until the end stage of labor.

Also, although he does feel for me - with having 48+ hours of Prodromal Labor, he said I "wouldn't be happy" with him if he induced me right now, because my cervix still isn't ready. I asked about using Evening Primrose Oil to help ripen my cervix... and he said it couldn't hurt, but also hasn't been proven to help, either. Ugh.

So, I walked around the mall with Travis for awhile, and then had a spicy lunch at Chipotle. Both also couldn't hurt, and may help... who knows?
So, I need to go back Monday, unless something happens before then. He said he highly doubts I will make it through the weekend. Here's to hoping.

Eww. Just Eww.

2008-04-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Warning... TMI ahead! Too much info! Turn away now!

Okay... still here?

Icky. I just lost part of my mucous plug. And it was every bit as gross as I though it would be, and so much more. I mean, I can't even say it without making a face. Mucous. Plug. GROSS!!! I didn't have the, um... pleasure of seeing it with Travis but this? Definitely ranks up there on the gross-out-o-meter. It was tinged with blood, too. Perhaps the 3 internal exams yesterday have contributed to this? I dunno.

So, let's get this show on the road!!!

April Fools!

2008-04-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, no baby yet.

Although, this afternoon, shortly before 4:00, I started having contractions. They were coming every 3 minutes, for nearly an hour. And then, boom! Out of nowhere, they were coming once every minute. So, I called my doctor, and he said to come into the birth center.

I called Jeff, a little before 5:00 and told him I needed him to come home. We decided not to call family just yet, just in case it turned out to not be the real deal. We went to the hospital, and they monitored me for a couple of hours. Lots of contractions/questions/and 3 cervical checks later? Still 2 cms, 50% effaced. Dammit. I was told I have an "irritable uterus" - heh. FYI - the technical term for "false labor" is prodromal labor.

So, I am back home... still having contractions, and my back is KILLING me! We went to Target and I got some of those Therma-Care back patch thingies, and I have one on now. It's helping a bit.

So, it could be tonight... it could be tomorrow... it could be... next freaking week. Ack!

This seriously bites!

Princess in the making....

2008-04-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

So, we finally got around to doing some baby laundry last night. We washed a bunch of newborn/ 0-3 stuff last night. Also, some bedding, blankets, etc. I was making dinner, and Jeff went down to see if the stuff was dry.

It wasn't... cause the dryer was on low, but we didn't want anything to shrink too much. Anyway, he came back up from the laundry and said, "Everything's dry except for Ashley's stuff."

I said "Aww! Ashley's stuff... that sounds so cute!"

And he said with a smile "You know what else was cute? The dryer lint was completely pink!"

Yeah... I guess that is pretty damn cute! :)