I've been somewhat reluctant to blog lately... but I guess it needs to happen... I look back at the first three months of Travis' life... and it seemed to be an entirely different ballgame. We were sleep-deprived, sure... but everything else was like a complete 180 of what we're going through with Ashley. Travis was a happy, easy baby. Ashley is not. I could nurse Travis, and then put him in the swing, asleep, so I could go pee, or load the dishwasher... and he'd stay that way for a good hour or two. With Ashley, she flips out. She's a very light sleeper, and has to be ON me at ALL times. I spend a good part of each day on the couch, with her in the crook of my arm, one-handed on the laptop.
Travis would snuggle on Jeff's chest every night, asleep, while we watched television. Ashley screams and cries whenever I hand her over to daddy. I have just realized, that there are no pictures of Jeff holding Ashley besides at the hospital, and the ones his mom took over this past weekend. I took a shower Monday at the IL's.... and Ashley screamed the entire time while Jeff held her.
Every night she cries. And cries. And cries. It's getting to the point where I just try and block out the crying, and that is upsetting. I am not a "Cry it Out" kind of mom... and, yet, it seems like that's what we have to do at times with this one. I try and nurse, rock, hold, bounce... and they don't do any good. So, eventually, out of sheer frustration, she gets put in her swing to cry. I don't know what else to do.
I feel bad for even saying this... but I am not enjoying my baby girl very much right now. I told Jeff this last night during dinner. He agreed. "I don't have my girl yet." he said, a bit sadly.
I know this will pass... it will. And this will all be just a chapter in the book of our parenting experiences. We will get through... there is light at the end of the tunnel... right now, it just doesn't feel that way. And, that's the honest truth.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Getting bigger!
Ashley turned 6 week old on Sunday! Time feels like it's moving way too fast. She is amazing, and sweet, and she's really beginning to "wake up" to the world.
I am sooo behind on picture editing... and printing. we still have NO pictures of Ashley printed out yet.... even though we bought frames weeks ago. I have been editing them on the laptop the last two evenings... so we can finally print them and get them out to family.
I am digging on Pioneer Woman's Actions for
Photoshop. It's making things as lot easier for me to do post-processing, since I only have 1 hand free most of the time!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
First Love...
My child... he has the memory of an elephant, I swear. Travis just said to me,
"Mary Ewisebef is coming over soon!"
I thought for a second. Mary Elizabeth is my mom's name. But, he doesn't know that.
Then it dawned on me. There was a little girl who lived downstairs from us. Her name was Mary Elizabeth, and she was about 4. Travis would go out on the balcony and they'd talk. Well, he'd babble when he was very young, and then they actually talked a bit later. She'd regale him with stories about school, and whatnot.
And one day, she drew him a picture. It's on our refrigerator. That day, a she wanted to share her peanut butter crackers with him. I told her he was too young for peanut butter, so we gave her some of our cookies instead. Travis STILL talks about that day. That was over 1 1/2 years ago.
And, she moved away more than a year ago... and he still thinks about her. Like today.
"Where'd Mary Ewisabef go?"
"Oh, honey... she had to move... she doesn't live here anymore."
I had to explain that she wasn't coming over today, or any other day because she and her family bought a house and moved away. His little face fell, and he just looked so sad. I just wanted to scoop him up and cover him with kisses.
Poor little man... it won't be the last time a cute little girl breaks his heart.
"Mary Ewisebef is coming over soon!"
I thought for a second. Mary Elizabeth is my mom's name. But, he doesn't know that.
Then it dawned on me. There was a little girl who lived downstairs from us. Her name was Mary Elizabeth, and she was about 4. Travis would go out on the balcony and they'd talk. Well, he'd babble when he was very young, and then they actually talked a bit later. She'd regale him with stories about school, and whatnot.
And one day, she drew him a picture. It's on our refrigerator. That day, a she wanted to share her peanut butter crackers with him. I told her he was too young for peanut butter, so we gave her some of our cookies instead. Travis STILL talks about that day. That was over 1 1/2 years ago.
And, she moved away more than a year ago... and he still thinks about her. Like today.
"Where'd Mary Ewisabef go?"
"Oh, honey... she had to move... she doesn't live here anymore."
I had to explain that she wasn't coming over today, or any other day because she and her family bought a house and moved away. His little face fell, and he just looked so sad. I just wanted to scoop him up and cover him with kisses.
Poor little man... it won't be the last time a cute little girl breaks his heart.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Menu Monday
Week of May 12-16 Menu
Monday:
Teriyaki Chicken (used bone-in breasts, just added about 15 minutes to the cook time)
I doubled the glaze - it's so good on top of the rice!
Jasmine Rice with Lemon & Peas (Relish! Recipe)
Steamed Sugar Snap Peas
Tuesday: Knit Night
Carnitas
Black Beans & Rice
Chips, Salsa & Guacamole
Wednesday:
Mini Meatloaves
Oven Roasted Multi-colored potatoes
Green Beans sauteed with Garlic
Thursday: Orange & Herb Marinated Pork Loin Chops(Relish! Recipe - From the freezer)
Basmati Rice Pilaf
Roasted Carrots, Pepper & Onions
Friday: Dinner out?
Monday:
Teriyaki Chicken (used bone-in breasts, just added about 15 minutes to the cook time)
I doubled the glaze - it's so good on top of the rice!
Jasmine Rice with Lemon & Peas (Relish! Recipe)
Steamed Sugar Snap Peas
Tuesday: Knit Night
Carnitas
Black Beans & Rice
Chips, Salsa & Guacamole
Wednesday:
Mini Meatloaves
Oven Roasted Multi-colored potatoes
Green Beans sauteed with Garlic
Thursday: Orange & Herb Marinated Pork Loin Chops(Relish! Recipe - From the freezer)
Basmati Rice Pilaf
Roasted Carrots, Pepper & Onions
Friday: Dinner out?
Yawn
I was up entirely too early this morning with Little Miss Crankypants. I went back to sleep after Jeff left at 6-something , though... We just got up a little after 9:00. Travis had no nap yesterday, so he slept in. Yay!
Right now he is sitting on the potty with a book. He did pee on the potty on Saturday morning. He woke up dry, and i asked him if he wanted to try and go. He agreed, and after about 10 minutes of reading books, he peed! :)
I have my Postpartum check-up at 10:00am today. Hopefully everything healed well... and hopefully my blood pressure is okay. Last visit (2 weeks post-partum) my BP was still high. I had rushed to my appointment very, very late... so maybe that had something to do with it. He wanted me to go back on my bp meds... which after reading up online... I opted not to do. Alhough it's a generally safe medication, it transfers through breastmilk... and can cause low blood pressure, and apnea, especially in babies under 1 month old. so, if it's high today... I will resume taking it... reluctantly, but at least Ashley is over the 1 month mark now.
I guess we will see...
Right now he is sitting on the potty with a book. He did pee on the potty on Saturday morning. He woke up dry, and i asked him if he wanted to try and go. He agreed, and after about 10 minutes of reading books, he peed! :)
I have my Postpartum check-up at 10:00am today. Hopefully everything healed well... and hopefully my blood pressure is okay. Last visit (2 weeks post-partum) my BP was still high. I had rushed to my appointment very, very late... so maybe that had something to do with it. He wanted me to go back on my bp meds... which after reading up online... I opted not to do. Alhough it's a generally safe medication, it transfers through breastmilk... and can cause low blood pressure, and apnea, especially in babies under 1 month old. so, if it's high today... I will resume taking it... reluctantly, but at least Ashley is over the 1 month mark now.
I guess we will see...
Monday, May 05, 2008
Done, like dinner...
Dinner.
Lately it's been a 4-letter-word around here... In light of the fact that I now have 2 kids... Holy crap!! I have 2 kids!! Also - the fact that one of them is a 4-week-old colicky mess in the evening....The name of the game is simplicity, shortcuts, and letting go. This means taking help from the store... and a more relaxed approach to things. No this isn't that "Semi-Homemade" crap.... it's real life. Anyone who knows me knows this: I love to cook! I KNOW how to cook, I just barely have the time right now. I still am using natural vs. additive-ridden, organic vs. pesticide-riddled, and I am just trying my best to keep things as balanced as I can.
Menu Monday week of May 5-9, 2008
Monday (Cinco de Mayo!)
Fish Soft Tacos (Tilapia) (Relish! Recipe)
Grilled on grill pan - Brush with Olive Oil, season with salt & pepper & grill. Squeeze lime juice on too & serve with Pepperjack Cheese
Guacamole (Trader Joes pre-made)
Chips
Refried Black Beans
Corn
Tuesday:
Thai Chicken Satay Skewers with Peanut Dipping Sauce (Relish! Recipe)
Sesame Sugar Snap Peas (Relish! Recipe)
Jasmine Rice (frozen, microwavable, from Trader Joes)
Wednesday:
Almond-Crusted Chicken (Relish! Recipe)
Garlic Mashed Potatoes (Packaged from Trader Joes)
Broccoli
Thursday:
Pasta
Friday: Dinner out with Dad
Also, the added challenge of trying to be as dairy-free (for me) as reasonably possible... I had an iced Soy Vanilla Latte the other day @ Starbucks... it wasn't half bad. Vanilla Rice Dream on my Kashi this morning. But, I absolutely had Cheddar cheese on my BBQ Beef sandwich yesterday, without apologies.
So, the next few weeks will probably continue to be a little tough as I/we continue our adjustment. I realized yesterday that we're still trying to run on 1 kid time. Thinking it will still only take an hour to go to the grocery stores... when in reality, it now takes easily twice that... when you factor in the baby needing to be nursed, changed, etc. Getting 2 changed, clean, dressed, and out the door, into the car... We're figuring this out... cause we're adaptable like that!
Lately it's been a 4-letter-word around here... In light of the fact that I now have 2 kids... Holy crap!! I have 2 kids!! Also - the fact that one of them is a 4-week-old colicky mess in the evening....The name of the game is simplicity, shortcuts, and letting go. This means taking help from the store... and a more relaxed approach to things. No this isn't that "Semi-Homemade" crap.... it's real life. Anyone who knows me knows this: I love to cook! I KNOW how to cook, I just barely have the time right now. I still am using natural vs. additive-ridden, organic vs. pesticide-riddled, and I am just trying my best to keep things as balanced as I can.
Menu Monday week of May 5-9, 2008
Monday (Cinco de Mayo!)
Fish Soft Tacos (Tilapia) (Relish! Recipe)
Grilled on grill pan - Brush with Olive Oil, season with salt & pepper & grill. Squeeze lime juice on too & serve with Pepperjack Cheese
Guacamole (Trader Joes pre-made)
Chips
Refried Black Beans
Corn
Tuesday:
Thai Chicken Satay Skewers with Peanut Dipping Sauce (Relish! Recipe)
Sesame Sugar Snap Peas (Relish! Recipe)
Jasmine Rice (frozen, microwavable, from Trader Joes)
Wednesday:
Almond-Crusted Chicken (Relish! Recipe)
Garlic Mashed Potatoes (Packaged from Trader Joes)
Broccoli
Thursday:
Pasta
Friday: Dinner out with Dad
Also, the added challenge of trying to be as dairy-free (for me) as reasonably possible... I had an iced Soy Vanilla Latte the other day @ Starbucks... it wasn't half bad. Vanilla Rice Dream on my Kashi this morning. But, I absolutely had Cheddar cheese on my BBQ Beef sandwich yesterday, without apologies.
So, the next few weeks will probably continue to be a little tough as I/we continue our adjustment. I realized yesterday that we're still trying to run on 1 kid time. Thinking it will still only take an hour to go to the grocery stores... when in reality, it now takes easily twice that... when you factor in the baby needing to be nursed, changed, etc. Getting 2 changed, clean, dressed, and out the door, into the car... We're figuring this out... cause we're adaptable like that!
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
The "C" word...
Ashley is doing well. She's really a laid-back, chill, happy baby. All day long, she snuggles, nurses, hangs out in the sling, or in my arms,and generally doesn't complain about anything. Each night, however - right around 8:00pm like clockwork, it's like she turns into a completely different baby. Crying, sobbing, freaking out, lower lip quivering, truly heartbreaking stuff. Like she's in pain. Seriously, I have been in tears myself the last couple of nights.
Nothing reliably helps... not rocking, swinging, swaddling, nursing, shushing, burping, bouncing, driving in the car, nothing. But for nearly 2 weeks, for 2-3 hours a night, I spend them alternating nearly every one of the above for the entire duration of her freak-out. Then, suddenly, as quickly as it started, it's over. By then, I am an emotional wreck. Last night I bounced with her on the yoga ball for almost 2 hours. Her total cry-time clocked in at right around 3 hours. We've tried the Hylands Colic tablets, and they work somtimes. I did buy some Baby Bliss Gripe water at Whole Paycheck today... so i guess we'll try that tonight.
I also talked to a La Leche League leader today... she recommended that I eliminate dairy and see what happens. It's going to be hard, because I've always had a lot of milk and cheese in my diet. Also, dairy takes 3 weeks to work it's way out of your system completely. I bought some digestive tea, at the suggestion of an herbalist/supplement specialist, and she also suggested a digestive enzyme. These things certainly can't hurt... but I sure hope something helps, and soon!
Nothing reliably helps... not rocking, swinging, swaddling, nursing, shushing, burping, bouncing, driving in the car, nothing. But for nearly 2 weeks, for 2-3 hours a night, I spend them alternating nearly every one of the above for the entire duration of her freak-out. Then, suddenly, as quickly as it started, it's over. By then, I am an emotional wreck. Last night I bounced with her on the yoga ball for almost 2 hours. Her total cry-time clocked in at right around 3 hours. We've tried the Hylands Colic tablets, and they work somtimes. I did buy some Baby Bliss Gripe water at Whole Paycheck today... so i guess we'll try that tonight.
I also talked to a La Leche League leader today... she recommended that I eliminate dairy and see what happens. It's going to be hard, because I've always had a lot of milk and cheese in my diet. Also, dairy takes 3 weeks to work it's way out of your system completely. I bought some digestive tea, at the suggestion of an herbalist/supplement specialist, and she also suggested a digestive enzyme. These things certainly can't hurt... but I sure hope something helps, and soon!
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